To be struggling with constant 'constructive' criticism in new job?

[giveupp]

I've started a new job (I'm 4 weeks in) and it's going fairly well, but I'm really struggling with how much negative feedback I'm getting on my work. It's quite a detailed orientated role, and I've been doing things following the guidelines but yet are so many comments on my work on things I've not done correctly.

Lots of it are things that would be impossible for me to know (like client preferences for documents) or specific things that the senior manager wants done (like different font sizes in different sections of a table rather than all the same). Other things are just things I've gotten wrong despite my very best efforts.

I've been looking at colleagues work and they get similar feedback but the senior management just make the changes themselves, whereas they've been adding numerous comments to my work with critiques. I know it's to help me learn but I'm finding it has just knocked my confidence and made me feel really rubbish

I’m two months into a new role and my boss is a nightmare for not giving good enough instructions as to what she actually wants. I’ve taken to asking her to email me what she wants (where it’s quite arduous) and asking for clarification when it’s inevitably still not clear. I still get ‘constructive’ feedback but I find it so frustrating when I’ve done the wrong task right. Eg I’ve done the task I was set correctly, only it was the wrong task because the brief was unclear.

They've given up on the other's but see you as somebody who can still change

I think this is a good approach - when you are working with clients they often don't understand what they want and while this is frustrating it's part of the job. Learning to seek clarification from your manager is good training for learning to seek clarification from the client as you become more senior.

It is very much the case in client-facing professions that documents will rarely be reviewed without comment. I reviewed a document yesterday created by a very experienced director, second pair of eyes is always encouraged in what we do - there were a couple of minor typos I fixed but I made a few comments requesting them to clarify some points and include an omission - all my additions were accepted gracefully.

I used to dread sending documents out to the team for comment but I was told - the document/quality of output would always be better for it, so I focused on that. It doesn't bother me anymore when the team make comments - another perspective always helps and we all miss things and if I sent around a document and got no comments I'd worry that no one read it. And no one makes comments for the sake of it either - it's for the good of the output, it's not personal.

I think a bit differently to many.
If you are constantly facing negative feedback on things because they lack a structure in managing details and the inability for you to be able to access relevant information, I don’t think that is constructive.

It will lead to feeling like you can never get something right and becomes damaging.

It can feel like being set up to fail and is a sign of incompetent management.
Good management doesn’t consist of a continuous critique using the “it’s good but”.
Good management nurtures abilities and would recognise a flaw in their own structure and amend accordingly.

I would request a meeting and provide polite feedback and request more assistance.
How they respond should tell you what you need to know about whether this is a good fit for you.
Please do not let this continue. It will knock you down further.

Feedback is 💯 necessary for improvement. However, if you are someone who is sensitive to this I can understand it might hurt. But this, within itself, is a learning curve for you. I have one like that at the moment and I had to sit her down and have a frank discussion about how we market ourselves as the best at what we do and we can’t do that if I am not pushing and progressing everyone in the company always, therefore a growth mindset is 💯 necessary and not something I can compromise on needing from my team! There is always something more we can learn as individuals.

Equally, in any new job, there is a ‘bedding in’ period where you get used to clients personalities/wants/needs. I think 4 weeks is no time at all and you want to be giving it a good year after which, unless they change things and don’t roll it out properly, you would probably know the job well enough for feedback to be minimal and more up skill focused.

Minimal on their part though is that they have a company policy/procedure document/videos that explain their processes bit by bit for you to refer to and something that sets out document standards as this is what they should be reviewing against.

I am not a fan of feedback in emails though, it doesn’t allow open enough dialogue between both parties. When I give improvement feedback in face to face reviews/in person (my company is small too so no reason I can’t do this) so that I can also understand if there is training and support the staff member might feel they would benefit from to support them and we can devise a plan around this so that they feel I am working with them. Then we know that we’ve given it our best shot and if they don’t fit from a skills/attitude point of view (which not everyone will in every company) there isn’t much more that could have been done and we can all move on to something that might be a better fit.

@giveupp “I've starting compiling it into a checklist to be able to refer to, so I am at least taking their feedback on board and trying not to repeat mistakes.”

That’s a great idea. Perhaps this checklist could help towards writing a staff handbook to be given to new staff.

As a manager it sounds like bad training to me and a lack of processes in place.

If clients have specific preferences it should already be noted on file and made accessible to everyone, especially new recruits and they should have clear guidelines.

Also it must be confusing to have multiple people giving you feedback/correcting your work when really this should be done by the person who is responsible for your training.

I would be concerned that this company is quite disorganise and that everyone is wasting their time (both you and the people having to point out the corrections) when proper processes and guidelines would make it easier for all.

If your colleagues who have been in the job for a while are still being corrected then there is an issue bigger than just this being a tough training period.

"I've been looking at colleagues work and they get similar feedback but the senior management just make the changes themselves" Sounds like they have given up on giving colleages feedback; / maybe they didn't listen! It's much better they tell you; these sound like minor things that you can easily pick up in time...if they dont tell you how can you know? :)

"I've starting compiling it into a checklist to be able to refer to, so I am at least taking their feedback on board and trying not to repeat mistakes" this is a great move and shows you're a dilligent employee and will do well.

a new job can be stressful, focus on the "good job" and take note of the (completely normal) feedback

I’ve probably been that annoying manager and even though we did have lots of crib sheets (and comments within our templates on style guides etc), when you are just starting a job there’s so much to take in, you’re bound to not get everything perfect. It would have been quicker for me to make the changes myself and never let you know but then you’d never progress and it would be an ongoing waste of everyone’s time. As long as they are doing it kindly and matter of factor rather than having a go unfairly, then please just try to see it as part of the learning process and actually a sign that your manager wants you to succeed. The few staff members that just persistently got loads or things wrong, eventually I would give up on them and just do the amendments myself as I didn’t have any faith they were actually taking it on board.

How old are you OP? Because you sound very young and I have an impression that this is your first professional job. I've often seen it with beginners in the last couple of years, that they are not used to feedback and take everything as criticism. Then they burn out quickly, and it's a shame.

I also manage a few people in a detail and knowledge heavy industry. And I do feed back each and every time because this is how they learn, even if it costs me time. If there is no way for you to have known some details, then they do not(!) expect you to get it right the first time, but they do offer their knowledge to you so that you are able to get better with each task.

To be completely honest, the only time I fix mistakes myself is when I have told an employee countless times how to something right and yet they make the same mistakes each and every time, so I don't feel like wasting mine again.

Feed back is not criticism, it's an opportunity to learn. Learn to accept it, or you won't last long in any stressful job.

I think you are far too sensitive and take it far too personal. Unless your role demands it, don’t check your emails in the evening! You are very new, they told you your work is good and are just telling you how they prefer certain areas of work. I don’t see how you could know this after 4 weeks and doesn’t sound like there is an issue.

Having worked in a small org, nobody has time to collect all this info in one place - if you can do it now and make it an editable doc that all can access you'll make your life and theirs easier. It's defos not personal, they'll all just have this rattling around in their heads and won't be able to give you everything you could possibly need to know all at once for every eventuality. Definitely not personal. If you roll with this and gather all the info under your belt - and crucially, on paper/in a doc - you'll be great in a bit.

Generally a good manager wants a new person to succeed and be happy. Recruiting again is a nightmare so it’s in their interest to train you well and for you to stay for many years and perform well. No good manager would want an employee to be stressed after 4 weeks because of feedback. So please try and not take it personal but see it as a learning opportunity to fit into a new org.

In the past I've had to overwrite the guilt at needing things explained to me because I know it takes time - I now know it's part of onboarding and it's just how things are, human brains can't do instant downloads. I think this is a school thing, but I think most things are so I'm biased!

I agree your managers are trying to help, OP, perhaps cack handedly.

You do need to be able to take criticism on board but it is a failing of the company that there is no documentation. I think it is a great idea for you to begin a doc covering the house style, client preferences, etc, as PPs have suggested. Everyone can contribute over time but get your name on it as the primary author and retain editing control if you can. I think your initiative will be appreciated.

To be honest, I wouldn’t call it “constructive criticism”; I’d say it’s more on the job training. You are new to the job, so you obviously won’t/can’t know how everything is done there yet. Nobody their end can produce an exhaustive list of these things upfront, so they are telling you as you go along. Make a note and learn for next time and you’ll be off to a flying start.

If it is a smaller company, there is no chance they will have up-to-date documentation of every small thing, many things will be "just known".

It isn't about you personally. Just answer with "thanks, putting it on my list".

Look at is as a positive. They're just correcting the other people's work and not giving them this info. They believe you're worthwhile sharing this info with, bringing you up to speed on their insider knowledge. Therefore they must see a future in you that they don't in the others!

To be honest, I wouldn’t call it “constructive criticism”; I’d say it’s more on the job training.

I'd agree with this. You need training to bring your work up to the standard expected by the company. Your manager is doing you a favour by helping you be successful. When a manager starts correcting someone's work themselves instead of showing the probationer how to do it, it's normally a sign that they feel the person can't progress and their time at the company is coming to an end.

I’ve heard a great organisational psychologist talk about how the long-term success of a bright “class of” intake can be correlated to their ability to take feedback, learn and bounce back. I nodded then and I will nod now.
I’m senior and not involved in the “production” side of things anymore but if something serious is going out the door in my name - public report, external body, client material - I will normally read it and usually provide comments. It’s entirely expected.

Also if there is any question that your formal business English isn’t up to scratch, read a suitable book or watch YouTube videos on smartening that up. I find that if paragraphs are missing, colons and semi-colons are used incorrectly, bulleted lists are not properly formatted or not used as a list but rather as different unconnected points etc., I will be overall more critical of the content than when a report that is well structured and well written comes for review.

If you're doing a process/thing wrong it is useful and important for your learning that you are taught how.

However if theyre saying emotive things like. How could you get that wrong. Wow you didn't do this right youre a failure then that's not okay.

But I think its your mind you need to work on, i mean that in a nice way. Because getting feedback is incredibly valuable in learning. The more feedback the faster you can develop. If its constructive.

Doing things wrong is part of getting better. If you only ever do things perfectly, well that's not life and a sign you're staying stuck in a comfort zone.

To learn and develop you need to try. And with trying comes first attempts usually can pretty much nearly always be improved on.
Its an iterative process. And management are helping you speed that up.

I actually personally wish i had more feedback because it would mean i would know where I could refine and improve.

. I've starting compiling it into a checklist to be able to refer to, so I am at least taking their feedback on board and trying not to repeat mistakes.

That's a good plan but I would feed back the need for style guides and accessible notes for new starters as many things just aren't clear and re-doing work is inefficient - it may not have occurred to anyone that it is needed.

I actually personally wish i had more feedback because it would mean i would know where I could refine and improve. I wish I had been given the advice not to take feedback personally - to see it as an opportunity, even when it's painful being able to see it as a gift, early in your career will serve you very well.

If you could write down how to do a job in a document or a book from A-Z you'd be doing a very simple straightforward job. Even after 6 years using books in med school doctors come into hospitals and have to learn on the job - they have to take the feedback as they make mistakes how else would they learn?

Jump in get your feet wet, try hard, stop thinking about being perfect, and start thinking about how you can grow and improve.

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