Boredom

[the7Vabo]

Being going for regular therapy because I’m off work due to stress.

One of the things she has said is that she thinks I’m very bored in my life. I’m married, two small kids, work almost full time. Can’t get a handle on life at all and am pretty all over the place in terms of work, house etc. Never been a high energy person and defeated my demands, I find myself sitting down even mid hoovering (I know!).

I do feel bored but I’m also nearly 100% consumed by work stress. I try to tell myself I should be grateful for what I have but it doesn’t get me far in that I don’t get a sense of happiness or similar from it. A lot of my thoughts are fear based.

I usually spend 7 hours ish a day on my phone doom scrolling as a way of coping with anxiety and also boredom. My therapist also says she thinks I have no idea who I am.

Im sorry that’s a word salad I m just wondering if anyone can relate.

I think 7 hours of doom scrolling is so unproductive it would make me anxious.

I'd be doing something that creates some endorphins. Even if it's just gardening or going for a walk.

Wow I’m surprised your therapist made such observations so directly, I thought they were usually more tactful!

But whatever, 7 hours doom scrolling is definitely unhealthy. Can you try and replace some of that time with reading or another sitting-down activity? I totally get that it feels like you’re going to have to get up and do something for the kids or do the next chore or whatever, so you don’t want to get into a plot and just want to escape into a 1 minute reel (speaking for myself here). But I find if I do manage to read even a couple of pages of a book and put my phone down, my brain feels so much better, I get to read more than I anticipated (20 reels vs 20 mins reading!) AND it’s a good example to the kids.

Would the kids go on an after dinner walk with you now the evenings are lighter? Or even better leave them with DH and go by yourself for 20/30 mins.

Thanks so much for your reply. That’s very interesting the it would make you anxious, being unproductive feels like my default mode.

Doom scrolling . I look at my toddler comin in from daycare full of beans and energy, then she sits down with screen and it brings her down so bad within an hour, cranky, not full of beans, they say it lowers your dopamine. Get up get out and get going, walk, eat healthy, get some reflexology or Reiki from someone good and connect with nature/higher self/God whatever you want to call it. You’re a new person as a mother. Make sure you’re eating properly and not consuming stuff that’s zapping your energy. People sometimes think just cos you don’t like the same stuff you used to your depressed but you grow and need to find new interests and community. You wouldn’t believe it till you try it, but group therapy is great!! Also, even just to clean out a drawer or put a load of washing away, getting into a habit of doing even mundane stuff makes you feel a tiny bit better. Who said you had to be productive. Just be.

I have an adhd diagnosis after a life much like that.

7 hours on your phone just scrolling!!! No wonder you feel disengaged from your real life and anxious. Could you try going complete cold turkey on scrolling, social media, etc?

Have tried going cold turkey recently. Lasted a few days & then went back to my phone when I got very anxious about work.

In bed on my phone is the place I default to. I generally go to bed when my young kids do.

What can you do about your work situation?
Can you cut your hours down or change jobs?
That seems to be the most important thing to deal with.

Then use your phone or other things like an audiobook or podcast. Look on YouTube for audiobooks if you have it.
Listen to something interesting while you get on with stuff.

Get out for a daily walk. Is there somewhere green you can go to? Woods, parks, local lake or any green area will be soothing and calming and the walk can help you to think about things in a different way.

Start off with those things and see how you go.

Yes, agree re work situation, I can either go back to work or leave.

Im doing better re the daily walks.

Otherwise I struggle massively with consistently and Id say the biggest issue in my life is chronic chronic procrastination