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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was I rude? (Food ordering related)

17 replies

RainyTulips · 15/04/2024 16:02

Went away at the weekend with a group of DP friends to celebrate one of their birthdays - all great. Birthday friend had chosen to go for an Indonesian meal on the main night, with everyone paying for their own meal.

7 of the 8 people decided to go for the set menu, but having looked at it it was a bit peanut heavy, which I don’t really like but am not allergic or anything. I decided to order something else off the main menu, and everyone got on fine with their food.

But later that night DP said that some of his friends might think I was rude and awkward having to have something separate, and I should have just sucked it up as I could have eaten it. But this is batshit, right? I was paying for my own food and my choice made no difference to them. Or have I broken some big etiquette rule?

OP posts:
TallulahBetty · 15/04/2024 16:02

Batshit, if the bill wasn't split evenly.

canyon2000 · 15/04/2024 16:04

Not rude at all!

pictoosh · 15/04/2024 16:05

Nah you're fine. You're allowed to order what you want.
Maybe your boyfriend is one of those who feels under pressure to do the same as everyone else. His problem.

Verv · 15/04/2024 16:06

It's fine, I wouldn't think it rude at all.
I doubt anyone even really noticed.

TimeandMotion · 15/04/2024 16:06

Indonesian food is normally all the dishes in the centre, with everyone serving themselves from the middle. The more people who order the set, the bigger they make the serving dishes.

It probably looked a bit weird, everyone else eating “family style” and you at one end with your own dishes. But no massive deal really.

Tagyoureit · 15/04/2024 16:07

How very odd to be offended by someone choosing what they wish to eat!! Not like you rocked up at their house to have a dinner party then ordered a takeaway!

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 15/04/2024 16:11

If you were all paying for your own then I don't really see any issue - after all, it's your meal so you want to at least enjoy it!
If you had been splitting the bill, and yours were significantly more expensive, then I would have expected you to cover that extra.
I hate when folk that think everyone has to follow the same protocol in this sort of situation, especially when it doesn't really affect anything!
Hope you enjoyed your meal.

NeedthatFridayfeeling · 15/04/2024 16:11

Not bloody rude at all

Original poster
RainyTulips · 15/04/2024 16:12

TimeandMotion · 15/04/2024 16:06

Indonesian food is normally all the dishes in the centre, with everyone serving themselves from the middle. The more people who order the set, the bigger they make the serving dishes.

It probably looked a bit weird, everyone else eating “family style” and you at one end with your own dishes. But no massive deal really.

To be fair it was set up like this, so I did have to pass a few dishes around the table.

But it’s not like I was shouting ‘ewwwww, don’t know how you can eat this!’ as I did so😂

OP posts:
lightmuller · 15/04/2024 16:17

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

WarshipRocinante · 15/04/2024 16:18

Normal humans don’t even notice this kind of thing.

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 15/04/2024 16:20

He's talking nonsense, no-one will have cared

Mnetcurious · 15/04/2024 16:20

The only reason this might be a problem/perceived as rude is if you were splitting the bill evenly and yours was much more expensive. Or if they just had one course while you tucked into a 10-course tasting menu so the timings were mismatched. As it stood, you had every right to choose whatever you wanted and it’s not weird or rude at all!

Investinmyself · 15/04/2024 16:21

No it’s fine. It would only be odd if you helped yourself to the shared dishes you didn’t pay for. But order a main just eat and pay for main is fine.

idontlikealdi · 15/04/2024 16:22

Why would you pay to eat something you don't want to? As long as you paid for your meal it's a complete non-issue.

AutumnCrow · 15/04/2024 16:23

Did it means the food came out a bit slower or at different times? That's the only other thing I can think of really.

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 15/04/2024 16:24

WarshipRocinante · 15/04/2024 16:18

Normal humans don’t even notice this kind of thing.

Well I would probably notice, but I wouldn't make an issue about it.
There are lots of reasons people might choose to eat different options.

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