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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I doing it all wrong?

5 replies

Ddimlacio · 15/04/2024 15:25

Had first baby nearly a year ago. Feel like I got through first six months just fine and stupidly felt like it 'wasn't as hard as people said'. Baby fed well, slept well and no issues.

Then I went back to work, baby started nursery and baby has become more mobile with crawling etc.

Baby settled in well to nursery but I struggled with returning to work due to changes in the team and feeling a bit pushed out by this ( but was nothing discriminatory against me) and paid for a private therapist for a few sessions, felt much better after that.

but I do just find everything such a slog now, like a never ending state of worrying and chores.

We have a fairly organised routine, dh helps a lot, parent lives far away but comes up for a week every six weeks to give us a break. Contracted a cleaner, do batch cooks so feel like I try my best to be organised but it just feels neverending.

When we try to do a family day out or short break somewhere, it's just even more stress so feels easier to stay home most weekends and not waste money But then I feel like we're not doing enough and should make more effort. Last weekend we had made some nice plans but then baby got ill so all was cancelled.

Aren't these days with young baby supposed to be enjoyed/ treasured? I feel like they're passing me by in a sea or domestic drudgery and viruses and before I know it baby Will be bigger and I'll have missed out (not having anymore kids)

Maybe I'm just putting too much pressure on things and have silly expectations? Just feel like I'm doing something wrong as I see social media feeds full of happy families doing fun things with babies and not getting bogged down in practicalities while I've spent all weekend cleaning up diarrhea and crying from frustration

OP posts:
TipsyKoala · 15/04/2024 15:34

I see social media feeds full of happy families doing fun things with babies and not getting bogged down in practicalities while I've spent all weekend cleaning up diarrhea and crying from frustration

This is the issue. Don't compare your life to the lives of people on social media, this is just a fake/moment's snap shot. Yes, it's 90% domestic drudgery but try to find the small moments of joy in there with your baby, there must be many. And it gets easier as they become more independent. Just hang in there, you're not doing anything wrong.

Ddimlacio · 15/04/2024 15:47

Yes the social media thing probably doesn't help. I think I'm subconsciously comparing.

There are nice moments but I think I had silly expectations for the age baby is and thought we'd be doing more activities outside the home

OP posts:
Ddimlacio · 16/04/2024 21:19

Bump

OP posts:
Biggybigbiggles · 16/04/2024 21:21

Sounds like you're doing great to me! **

Arrestedmanevolence · 16/04/2024 21:28

So your child is under two. Your child gives 0 shits about days out. A ladybird in the garden is as exciting as a rhino in the zoo.

Put your phone in a box for a few hours every weekend and make sure you get outside, whether that's in the garden or on the pavement with some chalk, or just go upstairs and fold washing while you chat to your DC. That's all they want.

What they don't want is stressed mummy who forgot the fucking snacks FFS and now it's fucking raining and we are stuck in a blustery play park and everyone is angry and pissed off. Thats not good for anyone.

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