11 year olds year 6 more independence

Kosenrufugirl · 15/04/2024 09:23

Yes absolutely would be my answer. Otherwise you are just stifling their growth. Your anxiety shouldn't be standing in a way. Otherwise you might end up with a socially awkward still living at home at 40.

JassyRadlett · 15/04/2024 09:24

From September he's going to be walking to and from school by himself right? So this is a good time to start spreading wings in controlled situations as once he hits secondary you're likely to get a lot of "I'm just going to the park with my friends after school" messages, and you won't know the friends or their parents.

We gave more freedom in Y6 - going to the local park with friends - but with clear rules, where he was and wasn't allowed to go, if his friends went home he needed to come home, timeframes etc. We let him have a phone at about this point in Y6 partly so we could keep an eye on where he was and that he was sticking to the rules, could contact him if he overran stc. There were one or two wobbles but mostly he's been great and the transition to Y7 was pretty smooth.

TriceratopsRocks · 15/04/2024 09:25

Definitely. Many kids go to secondary schools in different towns, on public transport, so need to build up to that gradually over as long a time period as is reasonable for your situation. I understand it can be difficult, but you can start by giving him a bit of freedom with clear boundaries. Eg if he walks to a friend's house, he could text you when he arrives (before he knocks on the door if he doesn't want his friend to know), and again when he's on his way home. Same with the park.

It's really good to allow gradual independence in small steps, because then each 'next step' is manageable.

ComtesseDeSpair · 15/04/2024 09:27

Yes, now is a good age. And it’s generally good for all children of a similar age in a peer group to begin gaining their independence around the same time. It’s going to be trickier for your child in a year or so if their friends have been out and about alone all that time and they’re only just learning, they’ll be more likely to find themselves out of their comfort zone doing things and going places their friends are well used to where they aren’t and potentially taking risks to keep up.

Okayornot · 15/04/2024 09:27

Yes, so I let my y6 children do this. We lived in a quite safe area of London and it was the norm. It's a good opportunity to teach them eg that they need to always say where they are going, come home by an agreed time.
When my oldest started secondary she was only just 11 and was taking 2 buses to and from school, plus getting herself home from the stop and visiting friends alone. She was the same age as many y6 children at that time.

Butterfly212 · 15/04/2024 09:29

Oakstreet · 15/04/2024 09:17

Quite a few of my children's friends are allowed out to parks. Each others house and shops. Is this a good age to allow them have more freedom? Child may have ADHD. is still very smart and aware, does have lots of friends but has been described as wired amd weird whatever that means? Is academically ahead of year group and intelligent at school and creative. We do have some attitude at home, issues with sensory and stuff but could also be combination of hormones and pre teen, they would like to go out with friends more? Also, how to stop my anxiety when they are out. Thanks

My son is year 6 he has ADHD, he walks to school and back goes to the park after school and in the holidays is mainly at the park 11-5 pm he walks to the shops with friends and knocks for others. He has life 360 on his phone and i check in with him through the day and if he leaves the park to go shop etc he has to call me

PuttingDownRoots · 15/04/2024 09:42

For the past year or so DD has been out locally with her friends. She doesn't take a phone out (because I see far too many kids staring at their phones not paying attention to their surroundings, wandering out in front of cars etc) plus its something to potentially lose! Shes had to return to the park for her coat or jumper a few times! She checks in every hour-90mins. She knows her boundaries.

She has walked too school from Summer of Yr4, and home from Yr5, but its a 5min walk at most. The exception being if she has an after school activity in winter due to poor street lighting.

She can go to the shop for a few items.

DanielGault · 15/04/2024 09:46

TriceratopsRocks · 15/04/2024 09:25

Definitely. Many kids go to secondary schools in different towns, on public transport, so need to build up to that gradually over as long a time period as is reasonable for your situation. I understand it can be difficult, but you can start by giving him a bit of freedom with clear boundaries. Eg if he walks to a friend's house, he could text you when he arrives (before he knocks on the door if he doesn't want his friend to know), and again when he's on his way home. Same with the park.

It's really good to allow gradual independence in small steps, because then each 'next step' is manageable.

Definitely this. Independence has to be taught and learned. It won't just come to them overnight when they hit a certain age. Build up their confidence and abilities bit by bit. It will also help you. The longer you keep them stuck in a 'young child' phase, the longer you're keeping yourself in a 'parent of a young child' phase. So you'll be anxious about things that really are perfectly fine and age appropriate.

Divebar2021 · 15/04/2024 09:51

I think walking to a friends house is a good start. I also started out taking my DD and her friend into our medium size town. I would give her money to squander and would park myself in a coffee shop while they went and mooched around the shops for an hour or so. I would give her a time to be back and without exception she always was. Other times I would take them to McDonalds and buy the food then leave them to it for a bit while I sat nearby in Pret. It helps the more anxious parents to know you’re close by.