Dh muttered under his breath for me to let my mum speak

[Isitjustmethenhmm]

Parents were round at ours today.
Was having a conversation on the sofa with my mum about the menopause, love her to bits, but she often goes on a bit and doesn’t ask anything much about me or my health problems etc, plus I’ve heard the same stories before. Still, I was interested in the conversation and contributing enthusiastically. I then heard Dh, who was sat nearby to me at the computer, say under his breath ‘(My name) just let your mum speak’

Would this piss you off?

Not if on reflection I had been interrupting or speaking over her. If I hadn't, I would ask him about the comment and likely would be annoyed.

I might reflect on whether I did talk over her?

I might be ok with someone saying that if it made me realise I was going on a bit or talking over the top of someone (not that I know whether you were!)
I wouldn't like someone trying to police my contributions to a conversation, so if this is typical difficult behaviour from him there might be a wider problem you need to address,

Yes I don't need to be told how to speak to my own mother! Maybe if it was someone I knew less well I wouldn't mind as much.

We need more info. Presumably he wouldn't have said this if you weren't interrupting her. And you acknowledge this with your pre-emptive defences about her going on too much, not asking about you, repeating herself, etc.
So my best guess is that you and she are both at fault.

It sounds like you and your mum were probably both being unbearable and he couldn’t help expressing irritation. I’d still be annoyed at him for doing so though!

I've told my SIL that I was talking to my late teenage nephew before now as she replies for him every time. I think sometimes people don't realise.

Was he right? Unless he has form for being an arse, I'd wonder if you were maybe speaking over her more than you realised.

Maybe your enthusiastic contributions were seen by DH as talking over your DM

Maybe listen to hear not to respond ?

Ditto

I would imagine that you were not hiding your wish not to have her 'go on a bit' about 'the same stories' rather than talk about your health problems as well as you thought, and he picked up on it. Whether he should have said anything? Depends on the relationship. My DP would tell me if I was doing something amiss to my mum as I would to him as we see each others mum's as our own family too.

I would need to think seriously about it. I have been known to do that thing of waiting for someone to stop talking so I can talk rather than actually listening to them, so in my case there could be some truth in it.

Why did he say it?

Have you asked him?

I can be a bit unkind to my mum sometimes (still turn into spoilt child/teen mode at times) and my OH has pointed it out to try to be kind etc- he is right on that one so I didn’t mind

See, I think it’s less likely that you were speaking over her and more that making an irritated comment aimed solely at you was the more palatable alternative to saying “could you both shut the fuck up?” as he’d really have liked to. The only thing worse imo than hearing someone telling tedious repetitive stories (especially about their ill health) is someone else encouraging it by joining in.

Your H was underhand and undermining, regardless of the situation.

This doesn’t sound like anything worth having an argument about tbf.

My first thought would have been to question why he needed to say that.

No this wouldn't bother me

I’m not sure I was interrupting a lot, more agreeing with her with points she was making etc and it was a nice conversation between us, not one that Dh was even part of!
I don’t need the way I speak with my own mum to be monitored, really annoyed me and made me feel uncomfortable. I asked him and he got defensiveness, first he sort of denied it, like he hadn’t said it and then later said it was ‘A joke’ and that I was being dramatic

Maybe you need to reflect a bit

I sometimes tap my husband on the leg as he has a habit of talking over people- I find it rude and embarrassing so feel compelled to point it out. Bit more discreet than your husbands tactic, but I can empathise with him if you were talking over your mum. Its very rude

Is he threatened by the easy intimacy you have with your mum? Does he feel you interrupt him?

He’s bullshitting you now in the most pathetic way. What he said was an attack on you - a whispered, cowardly little attack but an attack nonetheless - designed to make you question yourself and your relationship with your mum.

Is he a dickhead in other ways?

Projeeeeeeeection.

Well he said it for a reason and only you know if the reason's valid, but you'll have to be honest with yourself.