Brother ignores messages from me

[SugarandSpiceLatte]

My brother lives in England (we are in Ireland) and is a doctor. The relationship between the family and our brother and sister in law is strained to say the least.. My brother had a baby last may and refused to let my grandparents visit even though they were over to see him after not seeing him since his wedding in 2021. He has treated the rest of the family, myself and my grandparents terribly and doesn’t respond to any messages and won’t send any pictures of the child or even ask how things are with us. Am I the A hole for deciding not to bother messaging anymore as he clearly doesn’t want anything to do with us? He still speaks to my parents. My mum defends him whenever I bring up that he doesn’t respond to messages and she just says he’s a man and that’s why he doesn’t respond.. or the fact he is a doctor..but whenever he was home last Christmas he was constantly on the phone. I feel like the problem is his wife as he hasn’t been home for Christmas since he met her except last Christmas which was the first time in almost 10 years…

No ingrained mysoginy there...nope, none at all...

A daughter is a daughter for life, a son is a son Till he gets a wife. His world is with her now. Hopefully he’s happy, and he’s probably torn as relations not good with his family of origin. He has more to lose with her I imagine if there’s children and career built up around her, You should get on with your life and just live and let live. Very disappointing to be treated like this, so hurtful to not let the older family members see the baby. Maybe there is something going on you don’t know about.

Leave him to it, but don’t blame his wife! If he’s a doctor then he’s more than capable of making his own decisions.

Why would you be an arsehole for not messaging someone who doesn't message you?

Perhaps something you are not aware of has happened to make relationships.strai especially. He can make his.own decisions though, I am.not sure why you'd blame his wife. I would respond in a friendly way if he contacta you otherwise I'd leave him alone.and not worry about him

His wife is very controlling and he has told us that she didn’t like us speaking and seeing him so I do think it is due to her.

My db only responds when there is something in it for him. Maybe try "hey bro, uncle XX has given me this old Aston Martin, but it won't fit in my garage, do you want it for free?" And see if he responds.