To be so scared about becoming a parent

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Should start by saying I’m nearly 39 weeks pregnant so know that there’s only one way forward with this!

DC1 is almost due, this was a much planned and wanted baby, especially as it took DH and I a year ttc. Practically we have everything ready, we are financially secure, own home, married etc, everything sorted on paper. I’m not particularly worried about actually giving birth as I tend to just go with the flow on these situations.

But I’m absolutely shit scared about having a baby to look after! I think it’s starting to dawn on me what a huge adjustment it’s going to be in our lives but also that I’m about to be responsible for another human being, forever. There seems to be so much information and advice to take in as well which I just find overwhelming. DH and I don’t have a lot of hands on experience with babies, DH has more than me, and I can’t even imagine that first night alone with a baby in hospital let alone the rest of my life.

Lots of people I know and see who are 35+ weeks just can’t wait for their baby to be born but I want to keep him inside as I know he’s safe there, as daft as it sounds.

AIBU feeling like this? I then feel awful that it means I don’t want the baby which isn’t at all true. Did anyone else feel completely scared and it turned out ok for them?

It's normal to feel this way and I assure you that as others have said, the fact you are worried shows your maternal instincts are kicking in already! I am due baby number four any second now (I'm in slow early labour - heading into hospital for induction tomorrow morning to speed things up!) and I still don't feel ready for a newborn (despite having done it three times before!).

It's really hard to know what people say when we say "you will know" as it's your first, but honestly, you find your way! In those first days, most parents concentrate on three things - feeding, nappies and bonding - the rest comes with life! Don't worry if the house falls behind or you suddenly realise you haven't showered in two days, we've all been there! On the other hand, you might be an absolute goddess and have it down from day one ... Neither way is wrong or right!

Wishing you all the best for labour and the next few months of your new life 💕

I felt exactly the same as you 12 weeks ago waiting for DD to be born! I was feeling overwhelmed & emotionl about it all. I didn't have a clue what I was doing, but you get the hang of it pretty quickly 😊

I have to say the first few weeks were a blur, but you get into a routine and get to know your baby and their cues. It gets so much easier day by day.

I thought I would hate being a mum but I'm really enjoying it. Don't put too much pressure on yourself & take it one day at a time. The time goes so fast, I wish I could do the newborn days again x

Op my baby was born 11 days after her due date and every single day l thought please don't come out cos l was not ready!!! The thought of it was so overwhelming
But the day she was born, it all just slipped into place and came really naturally.
I mean some days l am amazed l have kept her alive for 12 years but she is still here lol!!

It's a huge life change - and that means it takes time to get used to it. And that is fine!

There's no rule book that says you have to be an old hand at parenting on day one.

Good luck and enjoy the ride! Don't expect too much of yourself too soon. You'll get the hang of it.

pS mine are 15 and 13 and somehow DH and I have managed to keep them alive and doing ok. 😊

Perfectly normal to feel.how you do, I felt the same with my first! Tell you what though, for all the changes that come with a baby, the amazing stuff will just make up for all of it, ten fold :). To be quite honest, all babies do is eat, sleep and poop - if they cry they're either hungry, tired of need a nappy change, go through each one and you'll find the issue. The cuddles are immense and there is nothing like it. I get it though, I remember being sat on the hospital bed after my emergency section and the husband had been kicked out, I looked at this baby in his little cot on wheels besides me and said to him 'right then buddy, what do we do now?'. Honestly, babies are great, toddlers (and 8 year olds!) are savage, those ones don't give a fuck 😂

I’m laughing as you’re enjoying it because you haven’t got to the worst bits yet 😅

Funny just yesterday I was being sentimental over my first mat leave
You will Enjoy your mat leave so much as you are chilled at home watching Netflix
I went to mummy and baby yoga and baby cinema ( adult films ) which I loved , had lunch with my baby group friends
Sleep when baby sleeps and go with the flow

New borns sleep a lot and it's a great time of year for sunny strolls

Honestly panic is just hormones
You will have a great time
Sleeping monitors helped ease my cot death fears baby groups were my life line

It's really simple
Feed one end
Wipe the other
Cuddle and repeat

Anything else you just ask a sensible other mum or google from reliable source

Being scared is natural. I can remember clearly leaving the house to go to the hospital to have my first baby and being tearful thinking life is never going to be the same again.
And it's true it wasn't and the adjustment was hard but having children was absolutely the best thing I have ever done.
Congratulations! The advice I wish I had been given was go with the flow and try and trust your instinct. Don't try and be a perfect mother just try and be "good enough" because perfection is impossible. Love your baby and take your time getting to know them. Don't put huge expectations on yourself or your baby.

Utterly normal, as is feeling you've made a dreadful mistake and googling 'adoption services' with your newborn in your arms. Don't panic. You figure it out.

I felt like you and the first 72 hours were terrifying.

then I realised small babies are like looking after a puppy or a horse. Keep them warm, fed and clean and secure (ie lots of close contact cuddles with mum) and that’s all there really is to the first few months. I’ve never understood the not being able to eat or drink thing. You just eat one handed for a while!

Raising/“training” babies is also very similar to animals. Ie repetition forms the behaviour. Whatever you do a lot of, they will become familiar and comfortable with, so decide what you want them to feel comfortable with and expose them to it early! However, we don’t have a routine - that would be far too restrictive. We just have things we do to signal a transition in what is happening, and then we take our baby wherever we want / need to go so she gets used to it. She is now a very confident traveller, having been to three countries in her first 6 months.

There is help around. Your midwife, your health visitor, you will make friends with mums in local play groups. My best tips - trust your instincts and avoid judgemental people. You are never going to make it 100% right so accept the imperfection. Don't be scared to apologise to your child if you do something wrong - they learn by example. Good luck