To over invite guests to DD's party?

[aimlesswanderingg]

Invitations went out two weeks ago for a joint party for DD 6 turning 7 and DS 4 turning 5 (both have birthday in May). Never had a party before, DD Is beyond excited. Venue capacity is 60 with no wriggle room as they're the venue/hosts/entertainment and they do a head check. No one has rsvp'd for DD (DS has six guests so far) out of 60 invites (30 each). It's a bank holiday plus someone else in her class is having a party the same day. So no one has said they're coming for DD, three have said they can't due to other party. Dd does dance club Mondays which only has one girl from her year in it (most go to other schools). DH said to invite all 30 of them and just cancel individuals if we do end up going over capacity, but I'd feel awful doing that, but as it stands DD has no one coming, I can't even begin to imagine how devastated she'd be. Would I be unreasonable to risk going over capacity and then having to cancel individuals? How many people do normally RSVP out of 30 in your experience?

DD didn't get an invite to the other party as the mum saw the invite and messaged to say she was booking one same day different venue so her dc couldn't come. Since I've had a few people message to say they're going to the other one.

I think you need to try and change the date, even if you over invite you’re just not going to get many acceptances if you’re double booked with another party and a bank holiday.

Do something else with your family and reschedule the party, and even then yes to get 60 you need to over invite - can you make it clear on the invite that siblings are invited to bump up numbers?

I would send out more invitations to the same people and asking them to RSVP by the end of the week and then invite the other friends after that date.

Thats unfortunate. I’d move the party to a different day. Surely family won’t want to sit in in a kids birthday party anyway, itl be chaos with that many kids running around. Do a family celebration that weekend and the party a different one.

You honestly can't cancel people.

I can't even believe you're considering it.

In your shoes, my DD would just have to be upset.

There's no way I'd invite and then cancel people. That's appalling.

I would ask for final numbers 2 weeks before and chase any stragglers. Then invite the dance group. Most people only send out invites 2 weeks before parties round here. It is a bit of a bad date to have a party though. My dds always falls in the first week of the holidays so I always do her party 1 or 2 weeks before otherwise everyone would be away

Oh and absolutely no you cannot invite children then uninvite them. That is a ludicrous suggestion. I can’t believe you’re even considering it

@Dacadactyl I feeel the same way, it's DH who suggested and is considering it.

I can't move the date, it's £300 and non-refundable. The cost is why I've never done one before (bear in mind need food, party bags etc).

Do you have phone numbers? If you are in contact with a few maybe they can give contact info to others. If you assume the non RSVP people are not coming you could invite that number extra and if they come back later say you assumed they weren't coming (no RSVP), if you then have too many people.

I'd go to the school run on Friday and ask as many parents as possible face to face. Let them know you have the dance class friends who might want to come instead so they don't feel bad saying they can't come.

Okay so I've written reminders asking for RSVP by Sunday. If I don't hear from them by then, then am I free to invite dance class next Monday?

yes, once rsvp date is passed, invite dance class

Are you sure non-refundable excludes date changes and not just cancellations? It's worth asking surely?

@Chilto thanks, that's what I'm going to do. Apologies for even considering my OP, however it would just be devastating for DD, I couldn't bring myself to do it though.

Max 60?

Are you including yourselves, your family and parents who 'stay' at the party and potential siblings in that number?

Invite the dance class - dance friends are the best ones in my experience. If any non rsvp kids show up tell them they may not be allowed in - tough luck

That's a huge party. It's going to be mayhem.

When booking my children's parties I always contact the parents of their 2-3 best friends to get a date they can go there are always good friends there.

@NerrSnerr I always did the same. Where possible I did joint parties with another kid in class and that was even easier. Everybody just came to those and the other mother was at school gates every day so sorted it all.

Agreed, ask about moving the date not cancelling - they can only say no.

If you don’t try and change the date I’d just invite them all now on the basis that you’ve had so few RSVPs so far it’s really unlikely you’re going to get anywhere near 60 accepts.

Even with your reminders and RSVP deadline, people won't RSVP and will rock up on the day. I spent years panicking about attendance rates and everyone turned up each time. rSVPs just don't seem to be done anymore.

Break a leg!!!

I feel for you OP as my daughter's birthday is also during the May Bank holiday/half term and I was worried that no one would be able to come to her party. I got invites out early and picked something not expensive and that could be cancelled/rearranged if needs be for that reason as didnt want her to be heartbroken if her friends couldn't come. She's in the nursery of a private school so small class sizes but I've invited friends from her previous nursery/family friends so she'll have people there even if her schoolfriends were busy which about half are. You absolutely can't univite people should numbers run over but I'd defo invite dance class given your capacity is 60 and there's another party the same day. Bank holiday/half term birthdays are hard!

Does the max60 include you and family op?

I had this (another party clashing with mine) and managed to shuffle the timing of ours slightly so kids could go to both. Is this an option? Eg 12-2 child A party and 4-6 your party? Or similar - just leave at least 2hrs between.

a reminder is a good idea, im still waiting on rsvps for a party this weekend ! Yes I put an rsvp date on the invite and yes I’ve chased in WhatsApp group and class Facebook group. Some people just don’t bother confirming either way and it’s so annoying!