To ask what amazing things happened to you after age 36?! I feel like I’m old and there’s nothing fun anymore

[Burnoutqq]

Just that really. I know it’s silly. I just wish I had more knowledgeable of good things happening in late 30s onwards. I feel like all the exciting stuff is for younger people and I don’t feel too optimistic about the future. I’m a single parent to a 2 year old (so as not to drip feed). Her dad sees her almost every weekend and pays fairly etc. In case relevant.

You're in the thick of it with a toddler and no partner to help in the day to day, life will feel like a grind.

But time will pass, and these pressures will ease off. Think about a hobby you could enjoy on the weekends your dd is at her father's. Even better if it gets you outdoors. Carve out times where you can do something that brings you contentment.

I would say it's the toddler years and daily grind, not your age. My ds was nearly 2 when I turned 30. Life was hard then. Ds is now 11. I'm approaching 40, and life seems brighter.

I didn't really start doing stuff and enjoying life until my late 30s / early 40s. This is some of the good stuff:

took up cycling and completed some long distance rides

trained to be a yoga teacher

left a destructive marriage and met a new and compatible partner

adopted two cats who became my greatest loves

got to grips with my career and progressed rapidly

joined a book group and made some nice new friends

There are good times ahead in those years, try doing something new.

You have a child. This is the good years.

Got promoted at work

Moved somewhere with a garden

Got to travel to Italy, Spain and Germany with my friend for her 40th, she paid!! Now planning what I will do for mine :)

Spent time with my sons camping 🏕

I became a powerlifter! Entirely unexpected but absolutely awesome.

And IME 40s are when you start to give less of a shit and live life for you. It's much better than 20s/30s

Oh apologies my reading comprehension is poor, I missed you had a toddler!

You're probably exhausted and burnt out with the daily grind. Try to do one thing just for yourself every day - listen to music, meditate for 10 minutes, eat something nice, read for a while.

Do you have friends you could do some fun things with at weekends? Like book to see some shows or concerts?
I found age 2 was a difficult age with potty training and tantrums but now mine are a little bit older (age 4 upwards) they are good company we have some good conversations about allsorts and we can do more fun things together. Also planing some weekends away or days out to put on the calendar gives you things to look forward to. (I’m in my 40’s btw)

What kind of things are you interested in?

I also feel a bit socially isolated since having a child. Not that I don’t have friends, but everyone is busy so there’s not the adventures / nights out that we used to have. I used to have a huge group of friends and we were always off doing something - but it’s increasingly difficult to get anyone to do much because they’re busy with their young families.

Im still working it out tbh. Have you got anyone that can babysit so you can have a bit of a child-free social life?

I am sure it will improve, but I agree it can feel like a bit of a slog.

Met DH, got married and had a baby!

Things I did after 36: had two children, went to Venice for the first time, went to India and Nepal, went back to school snd did a new degree at 56 and started a new career. Life is definitely not over at 36!

I actually met my husband when I was 36, which was eight years ago. We’ve since got married, had two amazing kids and bought a gorgeous house. We got a wonderful (if very stupid) dog. I’ve started a business, for which I’ve won awards. I quit drinking and smoking when I turned 40, started exercising and have never been fitter or looked better.

I’m sure there’s more. 36 is no age at all. Of course good things will still happen. Good luck!

More confidence
Know who I am
Feel more attractive
Feel like an adult finally
Feel that respect from all other ages
Say no if I want
Don't give a fuck about people who don't matter anymore
Kids are out of small stage
Know whats important
So many!

I did my MSc and started a new job which I love.

We went on a dream family holiday which was absolutely amazing.

As my kids have got older I’ve felt more comfortable travelling away to see friends, and have had some brilliant times with old friends.

I’ve got physically fitter than I was when my kids were very young and have taken part in some brilliant sporting events with new friends.

I’ve watched my kids excel in their lives which is its own kind of pride and excitement.

I don’t think any of it is particularly age related, more stage related. When I still had 2 year olds I couldn’t really think beyond those preschool years and life was very much about the day to day, because the day to day was really all encompassing. Now the kids are in upper primary life feels much more spacious, for them and for us.

Met my husband, started weightlifting, got a few tattoos, started giving less of a shit what people think!

i got diagnosed with breast cancer aged 37 and was “allowed” a full recovery which then prompted my to have therapy to resolve my demons.
with this “re-birth” i decided to be more confident and assertive, move my family to better shores, settle them all in their new lives, kept my dear friends close, made new fabulous people who went on to become dear friends too, started my own company so went back to my first love architecture and I am now 10yrs later having a fabulous life filled with fun laughter and love. It wasnt easy, it isnt easy but totally worth it.

life IS fun. It s what you make of it.

I got married and had a baby. Also moved to Europe. And changed careers. You are so young, ludicrous to think nothing exciting will happen to you again.

The forties and fifties are brilliant, OP. It's when you start to get over societal expectations, please yourself, and give no fucks.

What do you enjoy doing, OP? Do more of that!

I imagine that the sixties and seventies are brilliant as well, I just haven't reached them yet 😄

I’m 50 this month with teenage DC. I am now getting my life back as the kids can be left. I’m cramming as much in before arthritis catches up with me. Sea swimming, a Capella singing, live music (with lots of mad 40/50 year olds). I feel like l’ve got more capacity for fun than a lot of younger people around me.

Once your toddler is older you will have time and energy again. What do you enjoy doing?

I found the transition from being just me to me and a child (also single parent) very hard, as all the things I used to do for fun were either not appealing or not possible. I think late 30s/40s is a time for discovering what the 'new you' is going to have fun doing by trying lots of new things . I'm 50 now and since then have had a new career, relationship, hobby and dog!

Ran a marathon and did London to Brighton cycle ride several times.

Got a couple of promotions at work.

Watched my dses grow into incredible young men.

With more disposable income, we have had some amazing holidays.

Life is brutal with very young children, things get so much better and easier.

My Mum died when I was 33 and it changed my approach to life, so much so that things that I'd once shyed away from were suddently not even given a moment's consideration. I just felt like I needed to be more me and less what seemed to impress others and I certainly got more honest with others!! At 35 I met the 'later to be DH' (started as a telephone romance at work and progressed within a few months to a great deal more), at 36 I moved in with him, moved county, changed job and it goes on! So much happened it is impossible to list it all, including appearing on tv and radio countless times, as an almost professional audience guest, so meeting new people, grabbing onto experiences and never fearing the unknown. 27 years with DH and counting! Age is just a number, what do you want to do? Whatever it is, go grab it!

After I was 36:

My career took off
I passed my driving test
Bought my first house
Got married

I skydived and went to New York to celebrate being 60. Now I’m planning a trip to India when I’ll be 72. And I’m not finished yet!

I’m 36 too - my kids are older than yours and a bit more independent/easier which makes life easier! You’re in the toddler years which are difficult, I struggled massively. It does get better.
I’m travelling lots, which I’m enjoying very much 😀

I had a two year old and a baby at your age, single parent a year later.

Enjoyed raising them (while working FT). They are amazing people. Holidays in the UK and nearby.
Did an OU degree
Various boyfriends, some good some not so. Some of the sex has been/is mind blowing.
Remarried and divorced
Learnt to dance.
Hiked various summits.

Last Friday I was being driven through a nearby city to a fancy restaurant lunch in a classic sports car, top down, thinking “Stuff you, Lucy Jordan”.

I’m nearly an OAP. The best is yet to come - I thought my life was over at 37.