DH and I had always planned to move to Spain. Then his parents got upset about it, and we put plans on hold. We bought a house, had a baby, and set up "home" here. Baby is now three, and we're NC with DH's parents. We got bad news about the house this week - our long-planned renovation plans are unlikely to be possible, so the house isn't really big enough for us, but is also unsellable right now in it's current state.
DH now wants to make the move. We've got two cities in mind, one that we've already spent ten weeks in since DS was born, and one that we've spent three weeks in - we'd probably go spend six weeks or so in the second one, and make sure it was the right place first. We'd then get a three year visa, but could come back at any time.
Pros:
- Expose DS to a new language at a really good age
- The sunshine helps both of our mental health; and my disability
- We're eligible for a visa, so it's not too laborious to go
- It'd give us chance to "live" while saving to either replan or move
- It's always been our goal to live abroad
- Longer days and later culture means I'd see them both more
Cons:
- DS is just about settled in nursery, two days a week, and does seem to have fun there. He learns a lot.
- He has toddler friends here who we see once or twice a week at the moment - although most of the mums are pregnant, so that might change when new babies arrive anyway
- He knows where we live, and asks for the things he wants to do each day, like mud school or visiting friends' houses or whatever
- Moving countries with a husband and toddler is a lot more daunting than when I did it by myself at 19!
- I got major culture shock last time, but I was 19 by myself, so it's a bit different this time.
I'm concerned that DH's keenness has come in the same week his parents asked to see him again... He might be thinking it's a good way to maintain NC without upsetting them. Or he might think that their "relationship" can just be them visiting us once a year for a few days...
I can't decide if I'm taking DS on an adventure, or taking him away from everything he knows 🥴