sorry I know it’s late but need some advice. I have a memory in my head and it just doesn’t sit right and got me thinking about what actually happened.
im around the age of 4, I remember I was supposed to be staying over at my aunties (great aunties, my moms auntie) it’s raining and my auntie is knocking on my front door holding me in her arms. When she opens the door my mom answers she takes me from my aunties arms crying and cuddles me close, my auntie is also crying.
my auntie had 2 children a son and daughter. The daughter is about 8 years older, her son around 5 years (my cousins).
my mom sadly passed away almost 10 years ago so I cannot ask her but my male cousin said something that made my blood run cold last year about this incident. He asked if I remembered what games we used to play when we were younger and if I remembered the time we pretended we were boyfriend and girlfriend and he tried to set his bedroom on fire with us in it, I said I didn’t have a clue what he was on about and quickly shut down the conversation. I do vaguely remember him being a little bit weird and also remember I was never allowed to stay at the house again. I want to ask my dad but I’m scared about what he is going to tell me or if he would tell me anything at all, my mom may have kept it from him, it may bring up memories for him, however it’s giving me nightmares and I keep waking up thinking I am trapped in a room that is on fire.
im pretty sure everybody that knows thinks I don’t remember but I do remember I remember her crying and I remember it was raining and dark. I haven’t really had any contact with the auntie for a long long time just because different generation and now my moms no longer here I don’t keep in contact with many members of the family mainly the ones my age group.
I feel silly and probably this isn’t going to make sense to many people but I just wanted some advice, do I leave the past in the past?