You should tell your family before announcing a birth on Facebook?

[ShropshireSam]

My SIL announced the birth of my niece on Facebook but my DB hasn’t been in touch to let me know the baby has arrived.
AIBU to feel a bit sad about this?

I know Facebook is an easy way to announce this to everyone, but would have expected a quick message to let me know, especially as I don’t really use Facebook. It’s not as though he has many people to tell either.

Im sure my SIL’s brother will have been told before the FB announcement. And why the rush to get it on FB anyway.

YANBU - It is not appropriate to post about a birth on Facebook before telling your close family

YABU - it’s not necessary to inform close family before announcing a birth on facebook

Nah that’s bad form. I’d be pissed too.

I would assume it was an oversight since they were busy, obviously. I can’t remember who I told personally, probably just my parents and they told other family for me. Same for DH.

That's bad form, but I'd be more annoyed with your brother than SIL. SIL isn't in the wrong to want to share the birth of her child on social media. If SIL's brother knew before the social media announcement that's because she valued sharing the news quickly with her family. Your brother apparently doesn't.

How long after the birth was the social media post?

They’ve just had a baby, give them a bit of grace and congratulate them.

This happened with my brother sort of - I found out he got engaged via his girlfriend's Facebook update. I was quite hurt to be honest. If I'm being charitable she was excited and wanted to shout it from the rooftops, but I really feel like family should be told first especially if they will see the social media post.

A baby announcement is even more hurtful, maybe it was an oversight but still, it must sting.

I mean this in its entirety!!

Your brother should have been the one getting in touch to tell you, his family member. It's not up to SIL (who's just actually given birth!) to manage your expectations and change what she wants to do announcing the birth of her child to cater to if your brother has told you or not.

I couldn't get mad about this.

They just put it out to the most people in the quickest way possible. They were excited so thats probably the rush. Totally understandable under the circumstances.

And you have a gorgeous new niece as well 😍 how can you be upset when you're going to get all those baby snuggles.

YANBU.. There's an order to these kind of things regardless of current state. Them who should know do know before any public privilege. Wouldn't bring it up though.

It's a bit odd! My BIL (husband's brother) did it as well when our niece was born and we felt pretty unimportant.

My husband had the job of sending a photo and brief message to our parents and siblings when our son arrived. It took less than five minutes.

Of course I haven’t brought it up and won’t.

I’m not mad at them - more upset that it doesn’t seem important to DB to share such special news with me.

how can you be upset when you're going to get all those baby snuggles

🙄

I would assume it was an oversight since they were busy

Of course it’s a busy time, but not so busy that you don’t have time to be editing photos to post on FB apparently.

"Im sure my SIL’s brother will have been told before the FB announcement". Is it a competition as to who gets told first? Surely your SIL can tell whomever she wants, whenever she wants.

"Of course it’s a busy time, but not so busy that you don’t have time to be editing photos to post on FB apparently". Now you just sound bitter.

When did the baby arrive? Maybe SIL just assumed your brother will have told you already, and doesn't realise he hasn't got sorted enough to send a quick text.
Or maybe there's been some crossed wires and he's told your parents and think they will tell you, but they think he's telling you.

How close are you to your brother?

To me you're either lose enough to tell him that upset you.

Or you're not close enough to actually be told personally.

Maybe you need a newborn baby snuggle, if that sentence makes you so grumpy ☺️

Close enough to be told personally yes

Then I would absolutly bring it up to him when you see him.

I loved calling close relatives to let them know - used a phone box at the hospital!

It’s one of my greatest memories!!

Why would they want to miss out on that? Be sad for them.

Baby snuggles my arse!

I think the OP has every reason to be a bit peeved!

Bit odd not to use the family what’s app group and presumably you’d been checking in to see how they were going so close to the end of pregnancy. I imagine SIL assumed your brother had told you.

Get rid of the bitterness now though - don’t let it spoil things.

If you have an issue it should be with your DB rather than SIL unless she posted to FB minutes after the birth giving him no chance to tell family.

How soon after birth did she post to FB?

I announced my baby's birth on Facebook. I have 6 siblings, partner has 5. That's a lot of phone calls.
After our parents that was the easiest way to let everybody know she'd been born.

I'd comment on FB how lovely i have a niece, it would have been nice to be told personally rather than find out on social media.

Are you sure they hadn't attempted to contact you first? It can be difficult if people are asking for news but you can't answer because family don't know yet.