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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask you to help me decide whether or not to resign

11 replies

Kentuckycriedfrickin · 13/04/2024 19:31

I am losing my job in August anyway and I'm not entitled to redundancy pay as I've been there very slightly less than two years but I'm torn as to whether I should stay until August or not.

Reasons to stay
Money, obviously. It's not a vast amount and we get by perfectly fine without it (DH works and is a high earner than me) but I still like having it. I'd have to give four weeks notice so I'd be paid for that.

Seeing the job through, my current workload is timed to end around a week before my employment ends so it would be nice to see that set of service users through to completion before I go.

Professionalism, I'd like a reference off them at some point so I feel like it would be in my interests to play nice and stay until my end date.

Courtesy, they gave me my start in the sector after a career change.

I feel I have a responsibility to cling on because I wanted this job but a few people cautioned me to think carefully about it, it's like this stubborn feeling that I can't now appear to fail at it because I was insistent that I wanted to do it. Redundancy is one thing but quitting is admitting they were right.

Reasons to go.
The leadership team is the most petty, micro-managing, nasty team I have ever worked with. In my time there I have been bollocked in front of service users, I have been shouted/snapped at for asking for resources from the person whose literal job it is to provide those resources, I once had to leave work due to a family emergency and on my return was reprimanded for an incident that occured while I was gone on the grounds that it wouldn't have occurred if I'd been there. I'm treated like a child a lot of the time instead of an adult who is a fully qualified professional.

My mental health is shit right now. By Sunday night I'm a mess because I know I have work the next day, I feel like my light gets dimmer and dimmer as the week goes on and people around me have noticed that I tend to be quite withdrawn during the week but far more myself on weekends and during periods of leave.

I'm struggling to juggle everything. As well as working full time I am studying for the next level of my professional qualification, job hunting, and I have children including a disabled child with complex care needs. I have consistently been refused time off for their hospital appointments on the grounds of "you have a husband, can he not do it?". For the record, DH does his share and right now is doing far more than his share due to me simply not being available during working hours. My parents are getting older and are starting to need help with some things and my sibling was recently diagnosed with aggressive cancer and is going to need support when they start their treatment later this month.

I have no motivation to get through each day. I know I'm leaving so I could not give less of a shit about anything going on in my workplace, this makes it really hard to do my job well because I just don't care any more. I want to care but I feel so ground down.

I am looking for another job so I'm not going to be unemployed forever, probably only for the next 2-3 months while I sort my life out and get all the caring stuff sorted.

OP posts:
DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 13/04/2024 19:36

Look for a job now and then leave when you get another one. No ifs, no buts leave A-sap

Greywitch2 · 13/04/2024 19:37

My mental health is shit right now. By Sunday night I'm a mess because I know I have work the next day,

Resign. Resign now - nothing is worth that. Hope life improves!

anchoviesanchovies · 13/04/2024 19:37

I would absolutely hand in your notice, it sounds awful. If you can manage without the money just do it. Poor mental health isn’t worth seeing something through and it sounds like they don’t show you courtesy or professionalism. Good luck with your next role.

Fizzwizz345 · 13/04/2024 19:38

Resign now

Moidershewrote · 13/04/2024 19:41

Will you look back from your death bed and wish you’d stayed in this job?

No.

Olika · 13/04/2024 19:43

Just resign. It's not worth it.

Newsenmum · 13/04/2024 19:43

Your reasons for staying aren’t very strong tbh!

PastorCarrBonarra · 13/04/2024 19:45

Resign on Monday. Hopefully they won’t want you to work your notice but if they do, at least the end is in sight.

JamTartLover · 13/04/2024 19:46

You should resign.

Your workplace won't thank you for staying (and it sounds like they wouldn't even recognise that you stayed till the end).

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 13/04/2024 19:47

Stay. Take their money.

BiggerBadderBrainfogged · 13/04/2024 19:48

I would look for another job. Sometimes just doing that can relieve some of the negativity and pressure of your current role because it helps you mentally check out and realise there are other options.

If you don’t have the energy, enthusiasm or confidence to look for another role then leave now.

if your confidence is at an all time low because of this experience, I would also recommend checking in with past managers who thought highly of you to recalibrate, as those situations can mess with your sense of self. I would absolutely give a pep talk to any staff I’ve managed and thought highly of so please don’t hesitate to do this -
if they are worth their salt, they will gladly help you.

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