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AIBU?

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Original poster

My boyfriend of 6 months doesn't compliment and when he does it's like a dad awkwardly complimenting his daughter

24 replies

kksw · 13/04/2024 17:24

I'm 28, he's 29. He never really compliments me but says things like he knows how attractive I am. When meeting me his friends said he did good. He wouldn't sleep with me if he wasn't into me

But he won't say things like you are so pretty or you're so beautiful

The few times I've gotten things like my eye brows done or my hair done he complements me like a dad awkwardly complimenting his daughter. After my eye brows he smiled so weirdly and was like they're really nice aren't they like creepily. They were nice he wasn't just trying to make me think they were. I've always gotten them done this way etc. same with my hair. But why the weird creepy compliment

When I go out he's very jealous people come up and offer drinks etc.

I went out with my sisters and he was speaking to them whilst I was at the bathroom and they joked about the guy at the bar who kept offering drinks to me and he was intrusive saying who was it? Who was offering her drinks etc?

And if anyone likes an instagram post he's so weird about it asking me who it is. There was one guy who liked my every photo and he'd be like aw no doubt he's likes it. And told me he had a dream about me and this guy talking about him after sleeping together and he walked in on us slating him then demanded I removed this guy ..

I don't get the weirdness there and the lack of compliments and if he does it's like I'm his child?

OP posts:
JamSandle · 13/04/2024 17:25

My brain has gone to he feels threatened and so undermines your looks to keep an upper hand. That's based on limited understanding of your relationship obviously.

Original poster
kksw · 13/04/2024 17:26

@JamSandle it's freaking me out that he compliments me like an awkward dad with his child? Like it's really weird he did it once I let it go but it's been a few times now. It really makes me uncomfortable

OP posts:
Greywitch2 · 13/04/2024 17:32

I'll be honest. From my point of view you sound immature. Why on earth would you need someone to say 'you look so pretty' or 'you look so beautiful'? Haven't you got enough self assurance to know you look good? I'd think it was very odd to expect anyone to say this. (Are you Mariah Carey - I understand she needs this validation)

Why were your sisters going on about the guy at the bar who kept offering you drinks? Really immature. Why do you go on about a bloke who 'likes' your Instagram? Who cares? I'm not surprised that he gets pissed off if he's out with you and people keep coming up offering to buy you drinks.

Everything you've posted sounds like you think you are too good looking to be with him.

Teacupsandrollups · 13/04/2024 17:33

What @Greywitch2 said…

TipsyKoala · 13/04/2024 17:34

I read this thinking you must be about 17 then realised your age is at the top. You sound needy and childish.

MississippiAF · 13/04/2024 17:35

Teacupsandrollups · 13/04/2024 17:33

What @Greywitch2 said…

Same

BogRollBOGOF · 13/04/2024 17:41

It's 6 months in. If you're not comfortable with each other and having fun, it's time to move on. It doesn't get better than this so don't waste any more time on him.

JMSA · 13/04/2024 17:43

So what's your beef? That he doesn't pay you enough compliments, or that he's jealous and possessive?
It does sound like you've been trying to make him jealous.

Haydenn · 13/04/2024 17:44

I don’t know why you or your sisters would tell him about guys trying it on with you? Don’t you just bat them away and get on with your night? It sounds like you need a lot of external validation, and when he tries (bless him) you say it’s creepy.

vincettenoir · 13/04/2024 17:44

I think there are two separate issues that have been conflated. The first is that you are not happy with the level of compliments about your appearance and the way he delivers them. The second is that he is jealous (it is not clear if this has become a problem for you or not).

One problem does not flow from the other but if either of these issues are bothering you then you should talk to him. I have not really understood what you mean by describing his compliments to be delivered like a Dad so you may need to work on how you explain that to him. But be aware it may be that he is not able to provide all the assurances you appear to be seeking from him.

cariadlet · 13/04/2024 17:56

My dp doesn't tell me that I'm pretty etc. It doesn't bother me because I know that he feels awkward saying stuff like that (his mum and dad aren't demonstrative which might be partly why).

He shows he loves me through his actions rather than his words. If I told him that I wanted compliments, he would probably try but it would be unnatural and forced so I wouldn't do that to him.

Incidentally, do you give your boyfriend compliments?

The incident with someone wanting to buy you drinks at the bar makes you and your sisters look bad, not him.

Sounds like you were all deliberately trying to wind him up and make him jealous. Of course he would then want to know who the man was.

ActualCannibalShiaLeBeouf · 13/04/2024 18:03

You don't understand why it bothers him that men are constantly talking to you, buying you drinks, liking your photos etc and seem to love the attention, then think he's the strange one for being awkward about complimenting you?
Are you always this desperate for men to find you attractive? I'm not surprised he feels awkward to be honest.

User284725 · 13/04/2024 18:17

I'd absolutely hate it if my husband complimented me in the way you crave. I'd also not be able to deliver natural compliments to my husband if he asked me to give them to him. I expect you have complained about his lack of compliments which is why he occasionally tries and it comes out awkwardly. Why do you feel the need to be complimented on your looks?, and why do you get a kick out of showing him how desirable you are to other men? Are you more conventionally attractive than him, and feel like he should be worshipping you because of it?

samqueens · 13/04/2024 19:41

🚩🚩🚩🚩s all round. Just end it - if it’s not working 6 months in, it’s not gonna.

EveryoneJapan · 13/04/2024 19:53

Greywitch2 · 13/04/2024 17:32

I'll be honest. From my point of view you sound immature. Why on earth would you need someone to say 'you look so pretty' or 'you look so beautiful'? Haven't you got enough self assurance to know you look good? I'd think it was very odd to expect anyone to say this. (Are you Mariah Carey - I understand she needs this validation)

Why were your sisters going on about the guy at the bar who kept offering you drinks? Really immature. Why do you go on about a bloke who 'likes' your Instagram? Who cares? I'm not surprised that he gets pissed off if he's out with you and people keep coming up offering to buy you drinks.

Everything you've posted sounds like you think you are too good looking to be with him.

All of this.

StarbucksQueen1 · 13/04/2024 19:57

Why do you need constant compliments? He’s allowed to be jealous of other men buying you drinks, your his partner!!

ConcernedOfClapham · 13/04/2024 20:01

I don’t know why he is not complimenting you, OP. You sound very pretty.

Probably time for you both to move on.

RichinVitaminR · 13/04/2024 20:45

Some blokes just aren't very good with words, couldn't it just be as simple as that? If it's that important to you, talk to him about it rather than laying it out on MN!

timetodeclutter · 13/04/2024 20:47

Some people just aren't good at giving compliments. It doesn't come naturally to them. (And often they don't really rely on getting compliments for their own self worth.)

It's tricky if you (like me) kind of need to hear them as a sign of affection. But you have to (a) build up your own confidence so you don't rely on praise and (b) tell your boyfriend that you need him to compliment you from time to time. I know it's not romantic! But people have different communication styles and sometimes you be to be clear about what you want /need

Rosesanddaffs · 13/04/2024 20:57

My husband would never notice if I’d had my eyebrows done

Sounds like you expect compliments all the time and that must be so tiring, do you compliment him? And if you do, is it in a mumsy way?

imforeverblowingbuttons · 13/04/2024 21:43

Either he's not comfortable giving compliments or he doesn't want you to feel good about yourself.

The jealousy is unattractive why doesn't he trust you?

I wouldn't be impressed at this stage.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 13/04/2024 21:46

It sounds like he’s not naturally someone who would give compliments (some people aren’t) but that he knows this is something he should make an effort to do for you, but because it doesn’t come naturally to him it sounds stilted and weird.

Pointshopgirl · 13/04/2024 21:56

Greywitch2 · 13/04/2024 17:32

I'll be honest. From my point of view you sound immature. Why on earth would you need someone to say 'you look so pretty' or 'you look so beautiful'? Haven't you got enough self assurance to know you look good? I'd think it was very odd to expect anyone to say this. (Are you Mariah Carey - I understand she needs this validation)

Why were your sisters going on about the guy at the bar who kept offering you drinks? Really immature. Why do you go on about a bloke who 'likes' your Instagram? Who cares? I'm not surprised that he gets pissed off if he's out with you and people keep coming up offering to buy you drinks.

Everything you've posted sounds like you think you are too good looking to be with him.

This. Your post makes you seem very immature and like you really need validation.
It sounds like this relationship isn’t working out well for either of you.

theduchessofspork · 13/04/2024 22:00

To be honest OP he sounds controlling and weird and you sound needy and childish

I suggest you knock this on the head and go and grow up a bit

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