Boss is a bit of a primadonna. Not an inherently unkind person and can be pleasant but very used to getting her own way all the time, capricious and frequently very rude and inconsiderate of people's feelings/fails to take mitigating circumstances into account. There is a long history of her upsetting people, making junior team members cry etc. Will try to be as neutral as possible about this and prepared to be told if I am at fault but for context I am far from the first person to have a problem like this.
We have been working on a client project for over three weeks. She, I and a team of three other people (she is the lead, I am the second). A document has to be delivered by the end of next week. Boss asked the client last week if we could have a deadline extension, client said no, it was needed "ASAP" but no specific deadline given. She has been agonising over it (which I don't blame her for, its a difficult project which had to be delivered well and to exact specifications) and has been working on this for the whole duration of the three week period.
Early Friday morning she emailed me to say she was on leave, the document was ready to be sent back and would I mind proofing it and then sending it to the client. I had been expecting she would do it early next week. I said I had a meeting out of the office, a number of urgent deadlines and a GP appointment so would not have time to look until late Friday but would do later on.
When I got to the document I found it was riddled with errors , lots of editing needed and basically unfinished. I looked at it for hours and then sent a polite email asking her to clarify a couple of points, clarifying exactly what I had changed and asking her let me know if she was happy for it to go back on Monday morning (by this time it was after 8pm on Friday).
I woke up this morning to a furious email from her railing at me for my lack of professionalism, telling me I had ruined her husband's birthday by sending an email that she was "forced" to read on his birthday, he was pissed off with her about it and I needed to handle things on my own. For clarity, because I know this would be a no no in some businesses, our is not the sort of workplace where people don't send emails out of hours. There is rarely a day in my working life where my bosses don't email me after 8pm asking for things to be delivered by morning. I routinely receive emails at the weekend.
She also is known for micro-managing staff, bollocking people if they don't check documents with her before sending, proof reading people's emails etc. So it feels impossible to win. You get shouted at for asking her to check and shouted at for not asking her to check.
I'm so incredibly upset and angry about this and no longer feel trusted or respected, I don't feel I can work with her any more, I'm completely at the end of my rope. I love my job, I'm fairly good at it and its well paid and rewarding but she makes my life an absolute misery, again and again and again.
There's no union in my industry and our HR department is overseas. The only person I can raise a complaint with is her and one other line manager I have.
Am I over-reacting? I am so so upset I can't think straight, can't stop thinking about it and just don't know what to do. Terrified to go back into work on Monday.