Benefits - am I eligible?

[HaveAnotherBite]

I could really do with some advice here please.
Ok so - I have two children 6 and 4. My 4 year old has ASD and very significant ADHD. He has an EHCP recommending 1:1 supervision for most of the day. He is hugely impulsive and has no danger awareness. I love him with all my heart, he’s beautiful inside and out, but yes it is exhausting being his mum. Because of his high level of supervision, I have to work a part time term time only admin job because he I don’t feel able to enrol him in a holiday camp etc and I feel it is way too much of a responsibility to put on a friend currently to look after him when I’m working because he literally needs constant supervision. He cannot cope with after school club/breakfast club so I need to work around school run times. His dad is in the picture but works very long hours. No family to help me out.
I am really struggling to cope with the demands of looking after two young kids one with significant additional needs, running the house, huge financial pressure (I earn next to nothing working a part time term time admin job that fits in with my son’s needs)
i’m struggling at work because I’m so tired, so stressed and so distracted by everything else I’m dealing with. I haven’t been in my role long and I’m seriously worried I won’t pass my probation.
I have finally applied for DLA for my son, and believe I am right in saying he would qualify for the middle rate because of the extremely high level of supervision he needs and the subsequent impact this has on my ability to work. I earn just over the maximum amount you are allowed to earn before qualifying to be eligible for carers allowance.
Would I be a bad person if I gave up work to enable myself to claim this? I would then work maybe a couple of shifts a week a supermarket etc or basically a job I don’t need to think about at all to make up the shortfall.
does this seem like a terrible idea?
I have never claimed benefits before, don’t know anyone who does, and have no idea how it all works.
I’ve had a look on a benefits calculator and I’m unsure if I qualify for
universal credit or not? We own our home but have a huge mortgage. Partner as mentioned works full time but only earns £45000 which for the part of the country we live in, is nothing. We barely scrape by with the food shopping and bills never mind anything fun. Haven’t been on holiday in literally years.
I genuinely feel like I’m crumbling under all the various pressures I’m under right now and could really do with someone who knows how the benefits system works explaining what it sounds like I could be entitled to please.
I feel really self conscious of anyone thinking bad of me looking for benefits, genuinely there is nobody who wishes more than me that my son didn’t have additional needs and that I could work a normal 9-5 every day like I did pre-kids, as was always the plan for me to go back to once he was school age.
Thanks to anyone who reads this and is able to offer advice.

Have you looked at benefits calculators to see if you would be eligible?

https://www.gov.uk/benefits-calculators

CAB also have a very good UC helpline that can advise you and help with filling in forms.

It sounds like it will hinge on the dla to be honest op. If dla is awarded then no you wouldn't be unreasonable to reduce / give up work to allow you to effectively care for your dc. I'd suggest going on the entitledto benefit calculator and fill in the details based on the assumption that dla will be awarded. That'll give you an idea what benefits will/ could be payable if it's awarded. Good luck x

Keep your job but divert X amount into pensions so you are under the threshold

You will only know 100% if you put in a claim. You will be assessed on various elements -couple, children, possible Disabled Child, possible Carers (if these claims have been approved). Your Husbands earnings will then be used (subject to a disregarded Work Allowance) to assess any entitlement. If you receive Carers Allowance this is deducted £ for £ from UC. You will not get any help with your Mortgage if your Husband is working. If you are not entitled, you can withdraw the claim.

This is what I would aim to do.

You may be awarded high rate for him. Middle rate at worst.
You wouldn't be entitled to UC: you live with a partner who works, Despite living in a high cost area, 45k is still considered a good salary, higher than average. You own your property, so no housing element would be given.
Dla/carers allowance are not means tested so these would be your best bet, I'd you can manage on that.

I found myself in your position, already had an expensive lifestyle before having children then my son was born with disabilities, hardly no help as we owned our property and had savings (which we had to use) and made do with my DHs salary only.

It's not clear from your post whether you actually are with his dad ? If so then his earnings would be taken into consideration for a UC claim. IF DLA care component is awarded then you can claim UC carers element and would have no work commitments and would get extra elements/ money on the UC claim but if partner and you are together then his earnings will still reduce the whole award. If his earnings ruled you out of claiming UC then you could still claim carers allowance as long as not earning more than £151 a week.

It depends on if OP’s DS is awarded DLA and if he is what rate. Some with disabled children are eligible for UC on £45k.

You should contact Help to Claim (https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/universal-credit/claiming/helptoclaim/) and ask them if you'd be eligible for Universal Credit in the following scenarios:

1. no DLA
2. DLA middle rate care
3. DLA higher rate care

It's difficult to say without putting the figures in a calculator, but if I had to guess I'd say you're probably not eligible for UC atm, but if your DLA application is successful, you will become eligible for UC. This is because with DLA you would also be entitled to the disabled child element of UC (£156 or £487 a month, depending which rate of DLA) and the carer's element (£198 a month). Note that you can get the carer's element even if you earning more than the threshold for carer's allowance.

I strongly advise you not to give up your job or reduce your hours until you've had the outcome of the DLA claim and found out about your benefit entitlement in different scenarios. As a general rule you're almost always better off in work.

I gave an autistic child and he got DLA pretty easily. Like yours he needed 1:1 support in school, and also had night time needs and needed supervision outdoors so we got the higher rate of care and mobility. I quit work as soon as I got the DLA awarded and started getting carers allowance.

I am a single mum so no other income or financial support, and I got UC with no issues and no work requirements. There's no need to feel bad about claiming of you are entitled, unpaid carers save the government millions in care costs every year and that's why they acknowledge that it's no practical to work when you are caring for someone with high care needs and have no work requirements.

I dont know if you would be entitled with your partner's wage but I guess you only find out if you make the application.

I definitely find life easier without having to juggle work and caring, and with school age kids you get those school hours to have some wellbeing time rather than being at work. I know with disabled kids you won't get any down time out of school hours so it's good to have that time for yourself rather than an employer.