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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have shouted at this mum in the park today?

34 replies

Cakepop940 · 12/04/2024 19:51

I was in the park today , weather was warm so it was really busy. The children 4 and 8 were playing on the climbing frame and I was sat on a bench adjacent with a friend and a coffee watching them play. There was a little girl around 3/4 years old , she was in the park playing and I noticed she had run infront of the swings a couple of times. I quickly checked around for siblings/parents but couldn't see but as I was watching my own children I didn't take much more notice. A few minutes later I saw this little girl go flying through the air past where I was sat on the bench. She'd come down the small steep hill and landed funny, her neck had bent and her legs had flown back over her head. She was quiet then started screaming in pain. I looked around momentarily and didnt see anyone, then i instinctively and scooped her up and comforted her. I asked where her mummy or daddy was and she pointed to the other side of the park, i walked over searching carrying this poor child and couldn't find anyone. Then the said she was over there. Her mother was absolutely miles away on her phone head down. I had to leave the gate and walk across part of the field to meet this girls mum. She asked me what had happened and I said she's run down the hill and gone flying and she'd run infront of the swings a few times too. She didnt thank me for helping her child . And shouted at her little girl "what have you done now". I said it wasn't the little girls fault and she wasn't being supervised. And maybe if she had been watching her child then she wouldn't have gotten so hurt. It got a bit more animated and i ended up walking away .Am I being unreasonable to think parents need to stay off their phones and supervise their children in public.i see it a lot in soft plays. People so engrossed in their phones and not taking a slight bit of notice of their surroundings.

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 12/04/2024 19:56

That’s worrying. Don’t get me wrong, I would have been on my phone too, but I would have also sat closer, and regularly looked up to make sure she was ok. If I thought she was doing something that could have gotten her hurt, I would have been there to stop it. I also would have immediately comforted my child

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 12/04/2024 20:08

That's a sad story OP, poor kid. I'm glad you were there to comfort her. It's bad enough to ignore the child but not caring when she is hurt is truly horrible.

Eloraa · 12/04/2024 20:08

You were not U.

I’ve previously been very firm with a mum who was oblivious while a tiny one (18 months?) walked in front of swings.

DragonCatcher · 12/04/2024 20:10

Well done you. Hopefully she will act better next time they're at a park. Completely negligent of her child's care!

Dancingontheedge · 12/04/2024 20:10

Yes, it’s an addiction.
In the same way you see no interaction between a parent and a child in a buggy, because they’re interacting with their phone. Or small children wandering along pavements by traffic with a techno zombie following. Or no eye contact or conversation when collecting a child from school.

ConcernedOfClapham · 12/04/2024 20:12

Goodness, this is worrying. By the sounds of things ANYONE could have scooped up this poor child and taken her God knows where. The mother should be utterly ashamed of herself.

ChampagneGold · 12/04/2024 20:12

There was a thread similar to this the other day! I wonder if it's the same shit parent?!

KidsandKindness · 12/04/2024 20:14

I really don't understand why parents who want to spend their lives looking at phones bother to have children. If the phone takes all your concentration you're not only risking your child coming to harm, but also missing those valuable moments of your child's life, that won't come again.

SummerFeverVenice · 12/04/2024 20:14

Really worrying.
Sounds like the girl is a neglected and abused child and her mum is spoiling to punish her child for attracting the concern of a stranger in the park.

Next time, I’d be calling the police, the child needs to be known to social services.

Floppyelf · 12/04/2024 20:15

You were a too polite imo. I would have called the police and reported an abondoned child in the park. The fact that the child has already come to harm would stop any officer from releasing the kid immediately and hopefully sparked a paper trail.

Floppyelf · 12/04/2024 20:15

SummerFeverVenice · 12/04/2024 20:14

Really worrying.
Sounds like the girl is a neglected and abused child and her mum is spoiling to punish her child for attracting the concern of a stranger in the park.

Next time, I’d be calling the police, the child needs to be known to social services.

Summer put it much more eloquently than me.

MumMumMumMumMumMumMum · 12/04/2024 20:15

You're not unreasonable. Some parents just don't seem to give a shit. That little girl could have been seriously hurt. Well done you for bothering to take care of her.

Thumberline · 12/04/2024 20:20

The warm weather must bring them out of hiding. Twice I have been to the beach this week and had a two/three year old taking my child’s bucket and going into the water alone and even throwing sand at my baby. The Dad was sunbathing with his eyes closed while his little girl was running wild on the beach. I didn’t even know who she belonged to for a good while.

CupOfTeaNoSugar · 12/04/2024 20:33

Yanbu

Poor lass.

The playground isn’t a place for parents to be scrolling through their phone.
How are you supposed to watch & supervise your kid? Expecting other parents to do it for you?

IdontlikePinaColada · 12/04/2024 20:39

You were right OP.
For anyone in similar situations, where you see a child injured like this, please don't move them.

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 12/04/2024 20:40

SummerFeverVenice · 12/04/2024 20:14

Really worrying.
Sounds like the girl is a neglected and abused child and her mum is spoiling to punish her child for attracting the concern of a stranger in the park.

Next time, I’d be calling the police, the child needs to be known to social services.

Neglected and abused us an enormous leap to make.

takealettermsjones · 12/04/2024 20:43

Thumberline · 12/04/2024 20:20

The warm weather must bring them out of hiding. Twice I have been to the beach this week and had a two/three year old taking my child’s bucket and going into the water alone and even throwing sand at my baby. The Dad was sunbathing with his eyes closed while his little girl was running wild on the beach. I didn’t even know who she belonged to for a good while.

I've seen this too, and it gives me the absolute rage. Some people have no idea what the sea is really like, they just think it's a big paddling pool.

Thepeopleversuswork · 12/04/2024 20:46

YANBU and you did the right thing completely.

I mean everyone is guilty of doing this a bit but it's a question of degree and of applying common sense. Scrolling harmlessly if you can see your kid and are glancing up routinely to check your kid is OK is one thing. Being so far away you can't see your kid at all and being totally engrossed in it to the point you don't know what your kid is doing is bad parenting. What's worrying is how many people can't tell the difference.

The PP is right that its an addiction. I don't think its realistic to expect people to stop doing it altogether when they are around their kids but anyone who can't tell that they are so engrossed in their phone they don't know where their kids are has lost their grip on it.

VestibuleVirgin · 12/04/2024 20:53

Regardless of the mother's location, given your description of how the child landed, it was dangerous to 'scoop her up'.

MissyB1 · 12/04/2024 20:58

Last summer I had to grab a toddler who was about to fall in a river, the mum was sitting quite far away on a bench, totally ignoring the little one. Her two other kids were fighting on the ground, one of them crying his eyes out, she was ignoring them too.
I was furious!

laadertinom · 12/04/2024 21:08

I see this a lot. Not just on phones, often gossiping with friends or relaxing far away on the other side of the playground. No interaction with their dcs at all. But I never get involved tbh. I'm focused on my own dc and as long as they're OK I'll leave other parents to deal with their own children.

Mummyofbananas · 12/04/2024 23:13

laadertinom · 12/04/2024 21:08

I see this a lot. Not just on phones, often gossiping with friends or relaxing far away on the other side of the playground. No interaction with their dcs at all. But I never get involved tbh. I'm focused on my own dc and as long as they're OK I'll leave other parents to deal with their own children.

To be fair my children are always watched and safe but I don't always interact with them much in the park- it depends where we go and when- in the local park they meet friends and aren't interested in playing with me haha.

It's crazy though in the OP that a mum could be so far away that she didn't realise her own child was hurt.

OrlandointheWilderness · 12/04/2024 23:16

IdontlikePinaColada · 12/04/2024 20:39

You were right OP.
For anyone in similar situations, where you see a child injured like this, please don't move them.

I'll echo this I'm afraid.

BettyShagter · 12/04/2024 23:20

As a first aider, I too shuddered at the OP scooping the child up.

I do understand why though, as it can be instinctive.

whynotwhatknot · 12/04/2024 23:24

the mother is a dick yes but just be ccareful moving someone if ttheyve landed funnily