How to get out of this?

[Claphamcluck]

Some acquaintances of mine keep inviting me on evenings out. If I say I can't make a particular event (normally a dinner party), they tell me to ”pick a date”. I don't want to fall out with them, so how do I get out of these things? I would be happy to meet up with them once a year but they seem to want to make this a monthly event.

You're obviously not interested in building a friendship with these people so either be honest and say you're not interested in going out or keep declining and they'll eventually not bother asking.

This.

Could they ask me out instead?

‘Let me check my diary’

’Sounds great but I’m quite busy/ stressed about work / finding it difficult to leave the hamster at the moment. Can I let you know when it would be easier?’.

Next time they ask, just say 'I'm really sorry but I'm not a terribly social person, and would rather spend my evenings in the bath with a glass of wine and a good book, than making conversation, but thank you for the invitation'. Or 'I'm sorry but I have to talk and make conversation so much at work, that when I have some down time, the last thing I feel like doing is making small talk, quite honestly and nothing personal, but I'd far sooner stay at home in my PJ's and watch a movie, I do hope you understand?' That should get the point over.

Why do you not want to go? Can you be honest about your reasons?

'Alas. I'm really up to my neck in social invitations at the moment. I'm afraid I'll have to decline for the foreseeable future, but it was kind of you to ask me'.

Just tell them you're happy to join once in a while but you won't be attending each event, but thanks for the invite. Something like "sorry I won't be able to join this time, hope you have a great time. Let me know when the next one is "

I would say, I don't really like going out, but I'd love to invite you round to my house for some food and drinks.

I don't enjoy going out tbh for meals etc. it's noisy and expensive and I am a good cook and always think my food tastes better 🤣

I'd say, yes I can go out but I'm a bit skint at the moment do you mind paying for me?

There's a great restaurant ( insert most expensive restaurant in town) I'd love to go to.

They'll think you are such a cheeky fucker they'll sack you off themselves, doing the hard work for you. Problem solved.

It's going to be difficult to be honest. I have many other friends that I like more than them, and whom I rarely see, so I would rather save my rare nights out for these more important people.
One of them is a client of my business and I can't really afford to get on the wrong side of them.

I would be careful how you word it. I would suggest. Mixture of honesty and ambiguity. Something like ‘hi thanks for the invite, im not massively into socialising in the evenings because I’m usually up early but I appreciate the offer.’

as others have said, I’d just can it completely rather than string them along. If you only want to see them once a year, you can’t really very interested in them.

This month / summer is busy for me so go ahead without me and I might make the next one

Just do them the courtesy of being honest, so that they can give up on you. After all, that's what you want.
You are not doing them a favour by pretending to play along.