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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel ghosted by friend

2 replies

Lorijune · 12/04/2024 10:34

I have a friend who I have considered a best mate for around 4 years. It was good for some time but over the last year or so I’ve felt she’s spent her time networking and making evermore friendships. She’s a self confessed people pleaser but with that isn’t particularly authentic with all her friends sometimes complaining about others to me instead of saying what she thinks to them, which has made me suspicious of her words to/about me. She has dropped a few people after being very friendly with them by simply moving slowly away which makes me think she is a person who gets bored of friends easily. I feel now she gets in touch to find out gossip or drama about me which I don’t have much of fortunately! Making a plan to meet has been impossible as she can take 24-48 hours to return a text message and it’s just too complicated to make a plan. I’ve pretty much given up and don’t suggest meet ups now, but she does suggest them and I hopefully say yes every time. AIBU to expect friends to make an effort and service a friendship with me before actively seeking more friendships elsewhere? We are meant to be going on holiday together this year and it’s all booked and paid which I suspect keeps her loosely involved. I feel like politely moving myself away as it’s affecting my confidence being around this energy. It’s like dating a guy who is just not that into me and I would never persist with that sort of relationship as it’s soul destroying.

OP posts:
Skyisbluegrassisgreen · 12/04/2024 11:00

I’d stop bothering if it’s causing you stress

Sera1989 · 12/04/2024 11:17

I don't know if ghosted is the word I'd use, she sounds more flaky than anything. Seems like maybe she's the type of person who likes to have lots of casual friends instead of a small number of really good ones. I would feel saddened by the situation and wouldn't continue to make effort with her if she doesn't seem very bothered

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