I'm so tired

[lilylove1]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. When he comes to my home he acts as if it's his. At first ok cool, but now I feel like I pay thousands of dollars a month to live somewhere where I can't do what I want. I'm super busy during the week. I'm up at 5 am Monday-Friday I work from 7:30-4 every Monday-Friday. I have 3 kids I have to do homework, spend time, cook etc. so during the week I usually just leave things how they are. I clean the kitchen and bathroom, but when I wash clothes I leave them on my couch and fold them up so it's easier to find everyone's clothes. He comes today and is yelling at us and throwing things because as he said "it look like a hurry can been through here". I'm so tired of him getting upset with everything. He works maybe 2-3 times a week. i clean on the weekend ls because after doing all of the things i said above im getting in bed 10-11pm.

i understand that i could do better but im exhausted. im fine with cleaning over the weekend. he does not understand how much is on my plate. he lives with his parents so all he has to clean is his room. im actually kinda upset because when he leaves he leaves more things for me to do. he doesnt clean on his side of the bed. he leaves half full water bottles every where. snack rappers and i spend all week picking up where i can.

And he's your boyfriend because??? Sounds like he's just a liability without a home of his own or a full time income. Unless he's completely fabulous in some secret way you haven't mentioned I think you could do much better than this grumpy arse.

To add to what i said. I bring things up that I'm not comfortable with. And he gets upset bc I won't let him lead. In the 3 years we've been together he's never contributed to a bill. If I bring up something I don't want done in my apartment he will get upset saying I don't know how to talk to a man. But he doesn't respect what I say. I feel like a child back home with my mom doing what makes her happy so we don't argue.

Your choice though. Personally I'd have told him to put up or shut up from the start as it's your home. Put it this way, it's been 3 years so nothing will change other than you dumping him.

He's gotta go!
Life would be better without him.
My advice woule be, bin him off.

life is too short to waste with this man
thankfully he doesnt actually live with you.

Get rid of him.
Why do you stay with him? It sounds like he doesn't respect you, doesn't support you, terrifies everyone... ?

Next time this happens..
Open the door
Tell him to get the fuck out of your house
Don't have him back

Why the actual fuck are you putting up with this & putting your kids through it?

how old is this twat?

Apart from the fact that he a cocklodger when it suits him & rude with it, he's actually throwing things?!?!?!

Get rid of the twat.

Dump his useless twat arse. I guarantee he will be vile about it so you will finally see exactly what you are dealing with, then in a year he will be telling some other poor mug how his ex always managed to clean his shit up and work full time to fund him and manage a home...

Neither use nor ornament.

Get rid. Life is too short to tolerate this shit. You can do so much better.

He’s barely working, he lives with his mum and dad and he doesn’t contribute to bills or clear up his own mess. He is not a man. He is a horrible teenager in a man’s body. You know when they go through that self absorbed stage where everything is about them and their needs and it’s so unfair that they have to do anything they don’t want to do? He’s stuck in that phase of his life.

You live in a big, big country. There will be a million men who are more than happy to provide you with really good sex, be nice to you and your children all weekend and take their rubbish to the bin when they leave. You have enough work to do and enough children to look after. Why are you causing yourself extra work with this idiot? It’s way past time for him to go.

Is this for real? He acts like it's his house and he's Lord of the Manor while living with his parents and not working and contributing. Red flags everywhere here ...
You've got a job, kids, and a house. You've got enough without taking on another man child/bully.

How do you not have the total ick? You have responsibilities - children, a job, your own home. You work long days juggling work, parenting solo, housework/cooking/laundry. And then a man baby who doesn’t have a proper job, doesn’t run his own home, doesn’t know how to tidy up after himself, lives at home with Mummy, doesn’t parent waltzes into your home, reaps the benefits of your hard work and has the temerity to criticise you and the way you do things. Nah fuck that. He would be out my door never to be seen again.

How old is he? Why doesn’t he have a full-time job? Why does he still live at home? Why has he not stepped up and improved his situation in three years? What is his personal future plan and plan for your relationship going forwards………… or is this it? He continues forever being a baby at home Mon-Fri and then a baby at your house every weekend?

Sorry OP but there are so many red flags here. He's not contributing financially, acting like your home is his, and tbh he sounds controlling. Thank god he doesn't live with you. I'd dump him tbh, nothing will improve if it's not changed in 3 years.

"because I don't know how to talk to a man"

Please leave this chauvinistic pig. I honestly can't see what he is adding to your relationship. You are a single mum who struggles all week doing her absolute best and then looks after a man child on the weekend. He thinks you should look after him like his mummy does and you have to speak to him a certain way because he's a man?

Sack him off.
Hurricane Bawbag comes into your home, where you pay the bills, work full time and are bringing up 3 kids and he starting throwing stuff and tantrums, making your life more difficult and thinks you'll put up with his bullshit?
Time to put yourself and your kids first.
Nobody has time for this crap in their life.

There's an easy answer and that's to tell him to leave.

No one should treat you like that in YOUR home
Your children shouldn't have to see their mum being bullied
He adds nothing to your life and is lazy & sexist. Why bother with him?
You will be much happier once you've dumped him. You'll be able to enjoy life.

Do it this weekend and then relax xx

Perplex as to why you need to come on here to find out if you are the unreasonable one.
Get rid!

You would be mad to stay with him.
He should be making your life nicer, not judging a woman that is working her arse off harder than he ever has and probably ever will.
What possible positive future can you have with him if he is already like this with you?!

@lilylove1

i understand that i could do better

YES! You can do better! You can get rid of this parasite from your life. You have let him suck the life out of you for too long - flush him out.

When he next goes home get your locks changed. Do that as soon as possible! - Don't warn him you're going to do this.

• Don't bother asking him for keys back as he well have duplicates. New locks are better for your peace of mind
• Block/unfriend him from your social media.

Then msg/email to say you're no longer in a relationship with him and no longer want any contact from him.

Arrange a date and time for him to collect any belongings he has at yours (leave them in black bin liners outside your house on the date and time agreed). If you feel safer, ask a friend/family member to be with you when he collects.

You and your children deserve better than this entitled person who's got his feet under your table and himself into your bed, eats your food, etc but never contributes anything towards the extra costs you incur. Additionally I bet you're losing out on your 25% single person council tax discount.

Is he the father of any of your children?

• If, as I'm assuming he's not, then there's no reason to have any contact in the future
• if he's the father of any of them, then he should be financially contributing to their upkeep and I suggest you claim child maintenance through CMS, ASAP.

I wish you strength and a better future OP. 🌹

He is 34

I do and I want that feeling I had back when things were good again. I just want him to be the man we talked about and 3 years later it's starting to turn into disappointment because I feel like I've wasted my time and we're not growing as a couple. I'm not as interested in s*x anymore and I suggested taking it out just for a week to talk about things and try to reconnect, but he was against it.

In the beginning I was not expecting much. Because I can take care of myself and my kids. But now 3 years later I realize I fucked up. At some point I figured he would want to contribute but I see it's not changing. I stayed because I love him and at some point being with him was peaceful and safe.

He sounds worse with every sentence you write OP:

• still lives with his parents at 34
• yells at everyone about stuff that's nothing to do with him
• leaves more mess for you expecting you to clear up
• doesn't contribute financially
• can't discuss things like an adult
• sexist (don't know how to talk to a man? Does he hear through his penis or something?)

Would you want your kids to be in a relationship with a cock-lodgjng waster like this?

What are you going to do?

I think after 3 years and he still hasn’t stepped up and started to do the things he promised 3 years ago……… then it’s never going to happen. You’ve given him plenty of time. Let’s be honest - he likes the set up he has right now and why would he want to change. He has his Mum facilitating his lazy life 5 days and week and then you do it 2 days a week. No responsibility, hardly any work, no housework/cooking, no rent/bills to pay, sex every weekend. Two women who are allowing this to continue….. why on earth would he want to change. He can still behave like a teenage in his 30s. He will never change OP. You can give him an ultimatum I’m but I highly doubt he will change. He’s had 3 years to change 🤷🏼‍♀️