To not want my 18 year old to game all night

[Pleasehelpmefindagoodusername]

It's still the easter holidays. During the Easter holidays my 18 year old has taken to gaming all night until about 6- 730am. And then sleeps all day. If I talk to him he says I'm an adult I can do what I like or it's the holidays or it's fun. He has also taken to visiting/ going to random tourist places at night in the early hours with his friends because its fun or he likes driving places. But always at some point during the early hours he's gaming with his friends. Last night at 4am I woke up to his voice admittedly quietly spoken but I heard him nevertheless. When I spoke to him about it he says he couldn't have woken me up as he was talking quietly but that's not the point. I still heard voices at a time when I expect silence.

Aibu to say no Internet at night? He says I can't do that because he's 18 and an adult so he can do what he likes I say it's my house. If so what do I do? If I switched it off he'll just switch it on again

I have the broadband app on my phone and you can put individual devices on a timer

That solved my nocturnal teens gaming issue

Bring out on the streets in early hours.... maybe he needs to move out?

He's an adult after all?

He's year 13 so exams coming up which is another point. When is he studying 🤔

So he isn't a self-supporting actual adult?

Maybe you negotiate a couple of nights but the others it goes off?

If my son who is the same age says that I would have no qualms replying that he can do what he likes when he finances his own home. It’s your house, so your rules. I would not tolerate my son waking me up at 4am

It's both the gaming and going out that frustrates me to put it mildly. He might for example game until 3am and go out until 7/730 ish or come back at 3/4am and game until morning. Either way even if he talks quietly he still wakes me.

Depends on how much rent he is paying. If none, then you get to decide when the WiFi goes off at night (change the password). 😉

He is not paying rent no. I am not tech savvy so I will work out how to change the password he argues he can't study if I changed the password but I think that's just an excuse to be honest

You need a router that can isolate specific devices so you can cut the wifi for him but still have it for yourself. Google to see how to do this and cut him off. He might be an adult but he still lives under your roof so can abide by the house rules. You have work and need your sleep, he should stop being so selfish. Him claiming he is an adult, tell him to bloody act like one which means consideration for the person paying for the roof over his head, the food on the table and the electric for his computer.

Have you asked him about his revision? If he says he is studying ask to see it.

Mine is coming up to 18, she games most of the night, as it’s holidays. As long as she is up for college on Monday, and goes to any appointments, I’m not too bothered.
If it effects her college work, she’ll need to deal with the consequences, it’s part of transitioning into being an adult

He's 18. An adult. He can do what he likes. That said I would be charging him rent for his room if you are not already, and a contribution to bills. If he is an adult and thus wants to be treated like an adult then he should be paying like an adult housemate not living like a child but behaving like an adult housemate.

I'll look into this. I work from home some days so that would be useful thank you

Exactly this!!

When he is living in his own home and supporting himself of course then he can please himself.

Until then - NO.

You are providing his accommodation, food, utilities. YOU are paying for him.

He can, of course, move out. On his dime.

Yes and he has just asked for money for a hair cut 🤔

That schedule is bizarre in itself!!

Where on earth is he going regularly to at 3am?!?

His sleeping pattern is a nightmare, and if you don't have that under control, everything else starts spiralling out of alignment too.

Laugh in his face

Is he in with a drug crowd?
Going out at 3am could be drug behaviour

Is he in with a drug crowd?
Going out at 3am could be drug behaviour

In school/college holidays and when home from uni, we have always just told our kids to keep the noise down when gaming and if going in and out late at night. I think it’s part of being teens/young adults.

It’s a bit odd that he’s going out at 3am though and I don’t like the driving around for the sake of it with friends, especially at night.

I absolutely would not allow this. I have an 18 year old ds. He finished A Levels last year and he is working part-time at the moment. He is going to uni next year. We don't allow him to sleep past 10 00 am. DH and I work really hard to give our DC opportunities. I am not working my arse off so my son can leach off by gaming all night and sleeping all day. He is expected to contribute to the household and if that is not financially (which it isn't at present) then it's by helping in the house.

Regardless of the fact he is 18, I am still his parent, his brain is still developing and I see it as my responsibility to model and instill pro-social, positive behaviours.

I work in a secondary school and think gaming is a big problem. There are issues with sleep deprivation, inability to self-regulate and lack of concentration and resilience in a classroom. Everything about gaming is designed to hook you in and make you want more (same with phones). This generation of kids have grown up with this and know nothing different.

He's not an adult, he's still in school with exams looming. Does he have any aspirations? Because he's not studying if gaming then out all night and sleeping all day.

Car of young lads driving around after 3am is just asking to be pulled over. Make sure no drinks/drugs.

What sport does he do?

I'd definitely restrict WiFi access unless he gets a part time job and contributes the broadband bill

I wouldn’t turn the wi fi off for an adult. However, in my house no one is allowed
to sit talking all night in their room if it keeps other people (usually me) awake. I tell them if they want to talk they will have to go downstairs. It’s just basic respect. I don’t think the going out in the early hours is that strange at that age.

He doesn't