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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nanny Mat leave/ relocation/ new job.

8 replies

VeganPizza · 11/04/2024 17:30

Back story is that I am became a single mum in Oct and have employed a nanny since Nov for the 4 days that I work (wrap around care). She is my employee, all through PAYE etc. The nanny accidentally let slip in March, during a conversation about painkillers, that her doctor stopped her meds as she had stopped using contraception. I was a bit taken aback as I had only employed her in Nov.
I am currently applying for a promotion in my field of work that will allow me to drop to 3 days per week. There is one job available where I live and two that are an hour and half commute.
If I didn’t secure the job where I live but was offered a post in one of the other 2 positions my plan is to commute with a view to eventually relocate, but with the kids at school and house market as it is this would be at least a year away if not more.
The nanny saw that I had looked at a property online in the commuting city and became upset. She dropped into conversation that she was applying to college and was scared that I would give her notice. She went on to say she needs this job because she wants to have a baby.
AIBU to still consider relocation jobs. I feel selfish for thinking of what is best for me and not her situation.
Also if she were to become pregnant and I do relocate, would I be penalised for giving her notice?

OP posts:
chromebook234 · 11/04/2024 17:31

You can make her redundant as long as it isn't due to the pregnancy.

VeganPizza · 11/04/2024 17:32

It would only be if I have to move.

OP posts:
CeciliaMars · 11/04/2024 19:02

As much as I understand why she might be upset, you can't base your job decisions and house location on a nanny you've had for a few months who might get pregnant soon anyway!

Hankunamatata · 11/04/2024 19:08

Crikey she's got a bit if a brass neck and overstepping a bit. Totally fine for your relocate. I'd hate a long commute

shuffleofftobuffalo · 11/04/2024 19:08

You do not need to consider her when deciding your life choices. It's that simple.

StormingNorman · 11/04/2024 19:44

She’s an employee employed to make your life easier. It isn’t her decision where you live. She only gets to decide whether she joins you or not.

she has no qualms about getting pregnant and leaving you in the lurch.

VeganPizza · 12/04/2024 00:01

Thanks for your replies.
I have been also thinking that if she does get pregnant I would have to find another nanny anyway to cover her mat leave.
What a headache!
I think if I am offered a job with a commute and I have to move I could give her the opportunity to keep her job and commute to us, if that is okay legally and then she can resign if that doesn’t work for her.
Or I could make her redundant due to my job relocation and hope that she isn’t pregnant then and in need of mat pay as that would make me feel terrible.

OP posts:
Nevermind31 · 12/04/2024 00:49

You cannot make her redundant for being pregnant. But you can make her redundant if her role is no longer required, or no longer required at her location. So if you move you could make her redundant based on location.

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