Would you expect a phone call with a thank you?

[Purplee977]

I’ve moved into my first home and a relative gifted me some towels that had never been used but were sat in their cupboard for years. Other relative brought them to me as they’d visited. Few days later on the phone Relative asked other relative and said ‘did she like her towels?’ ‘Yes she said they were nice’ then relative said ‘oh well I thought she would have rang me up and thanked me’ in quite an annoyed tone apparently. I’m due to see this relative at the weekend so was going to say thank you then. Or Aibu should I have rang them up and said thank you?

If they were due to visit then no, I’d wait until I saw then
also it’s tea towels not the Crown Jewels

Id have at least texted to thank them when I received them

It’s quite an elderly relative so they don’t have a mobile number that they really use, just home phone but as I’m due to visit at the weekend I was going to thank them then

I’d have texted a thank you. Although I know some of my older relatives would specifically expect a call, and feel slighted at a text. But if you were due a visit a text should be fine.

I would have taken a few seconds to call if I didn’t have a mobile number for them.

As you were due to see the relative soon, then no, I don’t think you needed to call.

Relative sounds like hard work, I keep my distance from people like that.

My Nan used to gift all kinds of shit, it was never helpful, but a summons for a call- as soon as you recognise this it gets easier. It isn’t about the thanks, it’s about buying attention

Yeah I'd have given a quick call

How long between receiving and visiting? Over a week or so and I would have called, or perhaps written a little notecard.

Of course you should have phoned her to say thank you - it's just basic manners.

Yes, I would’ve called to say thanks.

When you've just moved in to a new house you have loads of things to sort out and organise and finding and writing a note card is probably not top of your list. Especially when it's not even for a carefully hand selected gift but getting rid of some old towels that were cluttering up their cupboard.

Saying thanks in person when you see them would be absolutely fine.

Someone passing on the second hand shit does not require a call.

I'd of waited until I saw them if a visit was in the pipeline.

This is a generational thing. My grandparents expect me to call them on their birthdays and also to call them on my birthday to say thank you for my card from them however if I didn’t do either they would say it was extremely rude (even though they don’t call me to say thank you for their cards on their birthdays, I’m expected to be the person to do both!)

@LoveBluey no, probably not top priority and it would entirely depend on how much I liked the relative. If it were one of my lovely aunties, for example, I would have made it a priority.

Maybe she was lonely and knew that this was the only way she was going to get someone to chat to her?

I would have texted a younger relative, I like to think I would've rung someone older who doesn't text but you've just moved and I'm sure you're up to your eyeballs.

Say nothing about relative mentioning it to you and bring a thank you card and £1 bunch of daffodils with you when you visit and I'm sure all will be fine. Family politics!

Bring some flowers when you visit and thank her effusively. Job done, you’ll be back in the will for sure. 👍 💐

I would have text but you said no mobile, so yes, i would have called.

I would have done but I think a bunch of flowers and thank you when you visit will suffice.

This

I wouldn't have called, no. I would have done for a carefully thought out gift that she had actually spent money and effort on, but some old towels?

I would have said thanks.

I would have been like you and knowing I'd be seeing her shortly have saved my thanks till then.

On MN there's a contingent who phone, text, and send a card in thanks for every little thing.