To work full time when it will impact my mental health?

[Jellyandcustardplease]

I have 3 young children in primary school, the last started last September. Now that they are all in school I have 6 hours to myself on my day off and it’s bliss. I’m more relaxed generally and I haven’t taken a single day off from work sick. I took about 3 off prior to September last year as I was overwhelmed/ not coping that well with home life and needed downtime.

the problem is, of course, money. I work in a professional role on a good wage, as does my husband, we have a nice lifestyle with a mortgaged home, swimming classs for the kids, occasional days out. However we have zero savings.

if I went back full time the extra money could be set aside for kids uni, house deposits, wedding contributions etc (all of which we were lucky to get from our own parents). But there would be an inevitable impact on the downtime I’ve been benefiting from as that would go. I’d work 9-3 on that day so no additional costs to consider.

we split childcare outside of school times fairly evenly between us with after school/ breakfast clubs. This isn’t a case of generally I’m burnt out from having a useless husband, he does a lot the kids are just alot of work (eldest has suspected ADHD, waiting on diagnosis).

what would/ do others do?

YABU - don’t work full time, it’s too much
YANBU - work full time and give your kids everything you can to set them up for the future

Option 3, go for next level up somewhere else and negotiate salary which means you can get more money and keep working part time?

I like the suggestion but a step up would be a big one to head of department and I wouldn’t be able to work my flexible hours, which would mean less actual time with the kids which I’m trying to avoid if possible

Ah, okay - would you consider paying for some career coaching or similar? Perhaps there are roles out there which - with investment in a course or similar - you could make a move into and would pay more but still be flexible for you? Also, I’d speak to your husband and explain your concern about the kids, and see if he’d be up for going to see a financial advisor or something like that to discuss investments or similar you could set up for them?

Just a thought, as the above seems a bit of a binary choice. I wouldn’t work full time forever with the only goal being money, but that’s me - I think more thought on a plan you can both make for the kids futures might help?