If you sent your dc to private school, do you think this financial plan is feasible?

[Hubjaww]

DC is 20 months. I am a single parent but ex is v successful and currently I have maintenance of 1,100 a month. I know this is not a guarantee.

I have saved 50k towards DC’s school fees and currently save 1k a month. When nursery fees increase soon, I will only be able to save 800 a month. Obviously dc will start school in 3 years so don’t have ages to save.

My mortgage is massive, I owe 290k (value 520k). I could, if still in current job, save 1k a month indefinitely (assuming interest rates don’t go higher and affect mortgage).

Is this a good starting point for fees? I’ve looked and it’s around 18k a year for secondary, 20k top end round here. Primary a bit less.

I know that other costs will be relevant but dc has very doting grandparents on either side and does not go without on any front. A car fund is already in place for them, for example, as well as a house deposit.

Having never been to private school myself I have no idea if this financial plan is reckless? Ex has no desire for dc to go and says it’s up to me what I do with the maintenance.

I think that sounds fine BUT I would say that if you have good State Primary provision consider that and then Private for Secondary.
Its what we did and we feel it was a really good option for the following reasons, which may not be the same for everyone I appreciate.

DC were much more mature and streetwise when starting Y7 than kids who had been at the school since age 3
DC had friends from different backgrounds and didnt get caught up in the who had what nonsense as they had seen that in comparison to other schools ALL their peers were from wealthy families
DD found the transistion to large 6th form college a lot easier than many of her peers who had been at a small school since age 3. She thinks Uni will be easier for her than some of her friends who have been at Private school from 3-18 and largely "spoon fed" by teachers.
DD is much more accepting of different people and made a wide range of friends at 6th form college while her ex school friends who had known eachother since prep tending to stick together - its all a bit "incestuous"
DD didnt get caught up in a lot of nonsense that according to one teacher was due to the fact that many of the kids were sick of eachother after 12 years or so
We saved a lot of money (I only worked very part time while the DC were at Primary so could go to all events and do all school pick ups etc)
No knowledge gap apart from PE and languages and they soon caught up.

If our local State Primary had been awful then we would have gone Private age 5 but luckily we didnt need to do that. Our State Secondary option is not good though.

My son goes to private primary with an on-site after school club, which runs till 6 every day. We use it 4 days a week. It’s only used by a minority. The vast majority are collected at 3:30 by nannies or SAHPs. (Both these domestic setups are more common in private school families than 2x working parents with no nanny).

I think after school club is likely to be more the norm in state school.

I don't regret private primary for a moment. Of a year group of 50, for the last 7 years we've seen all but one or two a year onto state secondary. Bear that in mind, it's hard to leave the system when you are in it and you really won't want to.

Primary uniform outlay was about £800 (bags, hats, summer, winter, blazer, PE etc) plus top ups each year.

We send our kids on the extra residential trips with school each year, so that's another £1k each. One uk residential is included each year.

We don't pay for primary transport but my daughter's bus fee is £1k / year, and her uniform at secondary was £1k outlay.

So, it adds up. But if you want to do it and you are in the right ball park, you can make it work.

Be mindful to factor in potential huge increases in school fees when labour get in and tax them. We've been told by both schools it's a high probability and the youngest has already gone up 5% to 'smooth it over'.

Nice work on the saving pot so far!

Quite the opposite in the area I live. All the private day schools have wrap around care as the majority of parents both work full time to afford the fees. I'm guessing school fees with just one parent working is more common for the very wealthy families.

One more thing, we do after school clubs and care until 6pm. This adds £1k per term for us, and we are lucky that they are all held in school already.

Given that you are talking about multiple schools I’m guessing you don’t have first-hand experience of them all. You may not realise that a lot of the dual working parents have nannies and au pairs to manage the afternoon pick ups. The more kids they have, the easier it is to justify the cost of the nanny/childminder, and they can be shared with other families. We have an only child so after school club is better value for us, but I was surprised how much in a minority we were by using it.

@TimeandMotion I don't doubt the existence of nannies where I live but it was more the comment that after school clubs are a state school thing. Private school is very common in the city I live in so I know parents from many of them who use them. The parents struggling to find after school provision are the state school parents as it's so oversubscribed.

We considered private secondary only but opted for private primary too from y3 onwards as they would have started secondary behind in languages, not have played sports that others would have played for 4 years and therefore were less likely to not make teams and indeed as you state having the school wrap round care as a "given" when you hear so many tales of despite wanting it and being able to pay for it in state settings people still not getting spaces.

Have a word with a financial advisor as there are specific school fees plans you can pay into as well.

At 3 different private school settings there were no additional payments for these at my sons' schools so they all differ

But isn’t that consistent with what I said? That after school club is more heavily used in state than it is in private, in terms of % of kids in the school who use it.

I agree too. Primary is the foundation and op has said the state around her isn't good.

Your child won’t thank you for putting them in round the clock school/clubs/care - it doesn’t matter how much money you earn or if you’re ’doing it for them’ .

Children need your time, your focus, your attention. School is exhausting for little ones.
And tiring in a different way for Secondary children. A 5 day a week, 8am-6pm day is miserable for young kids. Doesn’t matter how ‘naive’ the school.

We used a mix, including flex working and PT plus some after school clubs and child minder for primary age and now in secondary our schools has extra curricular activities ( over 50 to choose from) for free that go up to between 4.30pm and 6pm depending. these are state schools.

it baffles me that the more money some families seem to have ( to afford a childminder or nanny or extra help and clubs) the more determined they seemed to be to institutionalise their children and have as little to do with their day to day lives as possible.

My DC could have done free clubs until 5 on 5 days a week if they had wanted or needed to. There was also a daily homework club from Y7-11 until 5.30 that was free

You’ll be delighted to know that the majority of parents at my son’s private school clearly agree with you since after school club is so under-used!

I will charitably assume that you did not read my or @rainbowpony ’s earlier posts about using it and that your sneering at those who choose to “institutionalise” their children was not intended to be a personal attack. All I can say is that Monday to Thursday after school club on site works fine for us and our DS, and that the pros and cons are a lot more nuanced than you think. You are “baffled” because you don’t appreciate the detail.

@Quatty are parents of state school kids who need to use before and after school care also institutionalising and neglecting their kids or is this slur saved solely for private school parents doing the same?

OP I am a lone parent so no maintenance etc. I had DD15 in state primary and now private secondary where she is thriving and they have flexi boarding so it's useful when I travel for work.

I would have probably put her in private prep given my time again but I was saving hard for a deposit.

What I will say is this, your budget seems tight. You say you don't want to get promoted but as hard as it is, this is precisely the time you need to double down and maximise your career and earnings potential.

Definitely go for private if you can but it will be tight but probably only slightly tighter than all the childcare wrap you'd have to put in place for state school to enable your career.

(I had a live in nanny actually until she was 10 but the local primary was good)

@Quatty pipe down. You are clearly not a single parent so have no clue how we have to balance our lives between work and taking care of our kids. OP is asking for help on finances as a single parent for private school fees, not a sermon on what you consider shit parenting.

Baffle off.

Another person saying wait til secondary if money is tight. I went from age 9 (forces child so funded), I don't think we missed out really from not having been earlier.

Both my in laws work in private schools, and have done their whole careers. The tag line they seem to use is 'Wait til 8'. They both say before that sort of age, the difference is negligible.

I did outstanding local primary with piano, trips, pre teaching and enrichment by me eg youngest is doing a midsummer’s night dream this term, I’ve already booked theatre tickets etc also do Anglo Saxons so took them to Suffolk and Sutton Hoo in the holidays etc

lots of CGP books and fun learning and then private secondary. So far, they are doing amazing - I have one about to finish and one about to start!

I think private primary is a total waste of money for 99% of kids tbh. Mine all went private at 11/13 (lots of private senior schools start at 13) having been to ok state schools and were better off for it imo. Being brutally honest kids who go to private school all the way through tend to have a vibe I really dont care for.

I think I'd be using that money to pay off the mortgage and then start a university fund.

If Dc is bright try getting them into local grammar. Best education and free.. but only works if dc is bright enough. Its heavy going.

Grammars are only in small pockets of the UK. May not be an option for OP.

It’s worth remembering that but for the few very top grammars, the grammars have a broader academic intake than many private selectives,

Given your figures, I would save with the view for private secondary.
IMO, private primaries around here are just hot houses for kids whose parents want them to get into the local secondary grammar. They then struggle as they go from a class of 12 to a class of 30.