To feel so judged by child’s behaviour

[IcyBlonde15]

My son is 6 and is currently awaiting assessment for ADHD and ASD, school have been amazing and have bent over backwards to support him. He has brilliant strengths in his academic work and flies through it, but behaviour is a different story. It can be extreme. He lashes out which both me and school try hard with but it doesn’t stop it. I feel completely responsible because he’s my child but honestly he has zero impulse control and I don’t know what more I can do, I am honestly trying my best. I’m just feeling a bit low today, because I feel like other parents are judging me as they don’t want their kids to play with him. This is understandable, but it’s a horrible feeling. I’ve stopped him playing out on the street because he was constantly getting into trouble/fights and I have another child who is severely disabled and just couldn’t be dealing with it anymore. At the school gates the mums look me up and down, and one who’s son had an incident with my son a few weeks ago was talking about it to her friend, loudly enough so I could hear and looking over at me and tutting. I over heard one of these mums saying funny how she has time for a full face of makeup but can’t take the time to discipline her kid.” I wouldn’t even bother getting into it with women like this because I doubt they would understand or care about his Sen but I can’t even avoid this situation as he has to go to school and I have to take him. Not even sure what I want from this post, anyone been here and how do you accept that people will always think your a bad parent?

I over heard one of these mums saying funny how she has time for a full face of makeup but can’t take the time to discipline her kid.”

That is a horrible comment OP I really feel for you. I would personally explain to her about the SEN, there is a slim chance it might change her attitude.

I've not been there myself but remember at school (1970s so completely different time but...) My parents knew everyone in the village and the mother of someone I was at school with at the time, we were about 10, was complaining to my mum about what another boy had done to hers. Her boy, of course was a complete saint.

I listened and later explained that the first child was a completely nasty piece of work and the other lad was standing up for someone being bullied.

What I am trying to say, school gate gossip is dreadful but others know the truth and that is all that matters. You know and the school knows what is happening and you are doing your best.