DH and I have been together 8 years, married for 6, and have one DD. We’re both in our 40s.
DH has always been a bit of a closed book about his past relationships, and all I know are snippets. The impression I’ve always had is there wasn’t much to tell, and that he was mainly single before we met.
About five months ago, DH told me he was taking a day off work to travel to his home town to visit an old friend who’d been in touch. On asking a few more questions (it’s odd for him to take time off in the week for this), it transpired that the friend was female, was very unwell, and had asked to see him. It’s not someone he’s ever mentioned before or who I’ve met, and he said they’d not seen each other for 20 years.
I didn’t mention it again, and he took the day off as planned. He was quiet when he got home in the late afternoon, said his friend was more ill than he expected, but was good to catch up.
A month or so later DH’s old friend passed away. He took the day off work for the funeral. We chatted that evening and he told me that the friend was actually someone who he’d had a relationship with for a number of years when they were in their early 20s. In fact, they were engaged before going their separate ways. I was shocked to discover he’d had such a serious relationship and not mentioned it before.
Since then, he’s got back to his old self, and life has continued as normal. However, I can’t get rid of the nagging feeling that it was strange that he’d never mentioned her before, and it’s made me wonder what else went on in the past that I don’t know about. I can’t tell whether this is idle curiosity on my part, or I’m right to feel this way. I almost feel I don’t fully know him.
I should add that he’s never lied about this - he’s never denied having been engaged before (as I never asked).
AIBU? Any advice?