Husbands work

[babymama3938475749022971111]

My husband works a lot during the summer, so much I won’t see him for too much of it, but he’s supposed to be going on a work day out with the work people and I suggested he didn’t go, we got a babysitter and me and him did something fun just the two of us as we never do anything, we normally spend the time we have together cleaning our home or just looking after our children and with him not being paid for that day anyway why didn’t we make the most of it!
but he doesn’t want to spend the day with me, he wants to go for the day out with the people he is going to see more than me this summer and I’m a bit heartbroken over this.
i don’t get to go out alone at all let alone with any friends if I did have any, I honestly thought it was a good idea and we would be spending the last little bit of time together before we don’t see each other for roughly 8 weeks. So AIBU? Or is he being a bit of a kn*b?????
please be kind to me 😂

Why don’t you pick any other day for your date? Why does it have to be the day of his work event.

Choose another day, he books the day off and you both get to do something.

Also. Find your own friends! You need them for you!

It's important for employees to occasionally socialise with their colleagues. It can help work relationships, but it also demonstrates a commitment to the organisation. Find another date for your evening out.

Is it seasonal work? Has he been mainly at home, or more so up until to now? What has he been working? Whilst he's in the quieter time, how many date nights: days have you organised between you both? It seems (sorry)! A wee bit selfish that at the time you know is his busiest at work, and I assume it's been that way for a while, you want him to cancel an event with colleagues to pay attention to you. Maybe in future try to organise a plan before the busy season hits and after it, so you both have something to look forward to.

@SD1978 no he works throughout the year but the summer is his busiest time but he has been doing overtime a lot to still bring in a bit of extra money.
we haven’t had any date night since our wedding holiday in September, this is why I thought we take advantage of the day he will have off and not getting paid for anyway rather than taking another day off unpaid to do something together just us especially with what they have planned he doesn’t have any interest in anyway so probably won’t enjoy it.
don’t apologise. If I’m being a d*ck and need a kick up the arse then so be it. I have terrible anxiety so dread him leaving me

You’re not being a dick, but you do need to get professional help with your anxiety and make an effort to find friends. At the moment, you’re relying on your husband for all your needs. That’s never a good idea. Cab you get a babysitter and have a date night with your husband and talk about how you feel?

You need to find your own friends and get treatment for your anxiety.

You need to fine friends and spend the summer socialising.

It sounds like he is under an awful lot of work pressure.

You aren't being unreasonable to want to spend time with your husband, but you are being a bit unreasonable making it into a "work versus me" type thing. That's never going to end well. It's understandable to feel a little twinge of jealousy that he's spending a day out with others while you don't get a day off, not to mention together - but you have to let that go. You can't let yourself feel that it's some sort of competition and if he goes on a work day out, he likes his colleagues better than you. That's just daft. Better to suggest time out together on a different day.

Is he self employed you say he doesn't get paid time off, does he need to attend the day to keep his contract ?

Its ages until the summer, is there no way he can take another day off before then?

You need to build your own social network which doesn’t rely on your husband and honestly, September wasn’t that long ago in terms of holidays together. I’ve had 1 week with my DH since becoming a parent 27 years ago! And no of course it isn’t a competition and it is hard but you’d feel better if you had a life beyond your four walls. He can’t be that for you.

Yes YABU. Find another day for you both as a couple. There is nothing wrong with him going along to his works event.

I have the occasional time I am required to socialise and "have fun" with colleagues. I find the whole thing tedious beyond belief but attend because it would be remarked on if I didn't show up. I imagine your husband attends for similar reasons. It doesn't stop me spending time with my husband on other days.

There's so much more wrong here than just this day off. He should totally be fine to go on a work day out. You should also be having days out. You should also be having time out without him.