To think he isn't interested anymore ?

[asabatt]

Chatting to a man on line for a few days and have loose plans to meet. Both 50, both v busy with respective responsibilities and live two hours from each other.
We chat a few times through the day and I would be quicker to respond. He did tell me before that he has been pulled up before by people about not responding immediately but that he doesn't always have phone and isn't always on it when he does.
So lovely exchanges today, relaxed and easy but he stopped responding a few hours ago .
He has however been in WhatsApp but just hasn't opened my message.
So is this a fade out ?
I mean, a person who is interested would surely read a message from someone they were interested in, right?
Or as a newbie to this world of dating , is this perfectly ok and acceptable to you?
I'm not bothered either way as we haven't met yet anyway, so nif thing to lose but interested in replies and expectations, thanks 😊

Shameless bump ? I know I'll overthink this before sleep so I'd really appreciate some
Opinionsnplease ?

You waited less than 15 mins for an mn reply, how fast do you expect him to respond. Not many people like messaging back and forth hour after hour or late into the night. Could be as simple as that. If you keep messaging, you’ll have nothing to talk about when you meet?

Or a fade out and he isn’t that interested or he’s talking to someone else- another date or family.

If he doesn’t respond tomorrow, I certainly wouldn’t send another message!

Same, messaging back and forth gets annoying after a while and someone has to stop at some point 🤷🏻‍♀️ chill a bit and leave it, get on with some other stuff.

Thanks for responding.
I think he is chatting to another lady also so perhaps it is a fade out after all.
I think it's time to
Match people's energy

Blimey.

Maybe he's gone for a shower.

Ah it’s not easy especially when you said you are new to all
of this . Just take a breath . Don’t read too much into a person not responding immediately. Wishing u the very best

I wouldn't write someone off who hadn't replied for a matter of hours that's ridiculous. See what happens tomorrow...
Try and chill out a bit though...

He might have seen your message pop up and read it via the notification. Or he might not.

What matters is finding someone who isn't going to stress you out or make you second guess yourself.

I'd find someone else tbh.

Thanks!
I'm out if this game too long it seems! I need to chill out

Make plans to meet, it all means nothing unless you know you click in real life

Some people reply slowly, some people want instant messaging. No problem with either but you need to make sure your expectations match.
I'd be more concerned about both being busy, and living two hours from each other. If he is more relaxed and slow about the whole situation, is that going to work for you or end up grating?

The distance thing and seeing one another( whoever he may be) is ideal for me but I guess this is all new and my texting habits are to reply straight away as otherwise i simply won't !

He has however been in WhatsApp but just hasn't opened my message.
So is this a fade out ?
I mean, a person who is interested would surely read a message from someone they were interested in, right?

You are aware that people also message friends, family and colleagues in WhatsApp? And often don't have time to read and respond to everyone who's messaged them?

I have just gone into WhatsApp to reply to a friend about what time we're meeting later today. I've left two other friends and DP on read for now. I'll reply in a bit! The expectation that everyone has to reply instantly to everything is exhausting.

It really is personal preference I guess and in fairness of all my circle, I'll always be the one to reply first . Thanks

Goodness this is a bit ott. You need to chill. You don’t even know this man and you’re monitoring his activity and starting a thread mins later as he hasn’t responded. Can any part of you see how unhealthy this is?

Yes I see it's unhealthy . I'm just trying to get used to this. Thanks

Hi @asabatt
He might not have replied because he is busy and doesn't have time for a whole conversation via text?
Come and join us on the dating thread in relationships...lots of support, laughs and experience to draw from on there!!

Dating Thread 247 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/5039610-dating-thread-247

He probably hasn't had the chance to reply. I've been there with the world of online dating though OP, and it IS hard! Be gentle on yourself.
Hope it works out ok and keep us posted.

My ex and I were literally tennis texters. We can message back and forth for hours or call for hours. Big communicators. So I do struggle when that's not the case with someone. We're all different of course and this is new. Take a breath and see what happens next :)

Thanks for the advice !
I'm also used to texting tennis so trying to jot take it personally.
He's text this morning.. just an answer to a question I asked.
So how does this work now?
Match his energy is it?

I think try to calm down and not be so focused on it. If helping you achieve that is to match his energy then do so

but it’s not really about that, it’s about how you feel mentally. It’s one thing to match his energy, but if you’re sitting waiting for your phone to ping, and mentally obsessing over it, then you are into a territory that is harmful for you. So think of ways to occupy yourself, stay busy.

Also have you any plans to actually meet?

Yes we're meeting the weekend after this one.

This is very easily solved. Turn off the "online" function on WhatsApp. There's nothing worse than obsessively watching and waiting for those blue ticks.

You've only just met. He has a life. He's probably just busy. Chill.