To ask for reassurance (overthinking!)?

[Acapulco12]

Just looking for reassurance, really. As mentioned in the thread title, I’m a terrible over thinker! Although I’m much better at managing it than I used to be 🤣

I look after people’s pets alongside my normal job and I love it. Recently though, I’ve been looking to cut down on the time I spent pet-sitting, so I can have a bit more free time. Some of the pets I look after are more ‘high maintenance’, whilst others are more independent.

I recently looked after a family’s pets and they then got in touch yesterday asking if I could look after them again in summer.

The family are lovely and are long-term clients, and the pets are lovely too. However, it can be quite hard work looking after their pets as I have to be around in the house pretty much 24/7 to supervise the pets, so it can be pretty full-on.

I’ve been thinking for a while about tapering things off with this family, and stopping looking after their pets, just to get a bit of time back and because I’m going into the office a lot more for work, so won’t be able to work from home much to look after the pets.

When the family got in touch yesterday, I replied this morning with a bit of a white lie, saying I was moving away in the next couple of months, so unfortunately I wasn’t able to look after their pets anymore. I was polite and apologetic in the message and said I was sorry for telling them out of the blue via message.

The family haven’t yet replied, and I don’t expect them to, but I’m just wondering if I should have handled it differently. I wanted to be polite, respectful and professional in my message, and I think I gave them a decent amount of notice (although that’s really just luck, as they tend to get in touch with lots of notice for when they’re planning to go away).

Do you reckon I should have handled the situation differently? Thanks!

Are you friends with this family or any connection to them save for the pets?

If not, yes you're overthinking. Obviously you could have just said that you want more time back to yourself and so will now not be offering a pet sitting service but I think it makes no odds really unless you have some other connection.

I think you’ll be ok. Might be awkward if you bump into them but they won’t care too much as you’ve been polite about it.

Thanks for the replies! @BananaShampoo - no we don’t have any link other than the fact I look after their pets. They don’t live that far away, but I don’t think we’ll bump into each other.

All you needed to say was that unfortunately you are not available.
No need to over complicate things.
In future just keep communications simple.

I agree, but I think that I’d said that, there’s a chance that they would then ask when I’ll next be available, so I’d have to keep on saying I wasn’t available.

Yes, no need for white lies. You’re not hurting their feelings, or withdrawing from a friendship, you’re just letting them know you’re no longer offering a service. This situation sounds a bit mad, anyway — if a pet sitter needs to be in the house 24/7 to supervise their pets, how on earth do they manage when they’re at home — don’t they have jobs and social lives and need to sleep?

What you said was fine. On the tiny off-chance you do run into them and they question seeing you just say the house sale / the chain collapsed but you've got your fingers crossed about the new offer you just put in.

I wouldn't really expect a reply through - I'd probably never respond to a message like that I got from someone I wanted to hire as it feels too awkward to continue to contact someone after a no. I'd be fine with the no and would just find someone else but I wouldn't reply.

I really think you should have been more honest and said something like "Sorry I won't be able to do this anymore as I'm reducing my pet sitting work due to other commitments". Now you've told this lie, it's sod's law that you're going to keep bumping in to them and they'll know you lied.

The situation is a bit ridiculous, I agree! The pets need constant supervision, and I think the family manage that by arranging it so one of them is always at home with them. It’s like having children!

I should’ve written something along the lines of what you’ve suggested @SallyWD (thanks for the suggestion, btw!) but probably gave more (made-up) detail that I needed to, out of guilt.

Future lesson learned for my other clients though. Thanks everyone - I appreciate your replies.

It would have been easier to say 'sorry I've got to go back to the office so so won't be able to help from now on' than try to maintain a lie.

I already mentioned that to them a few months ago and they kept on asking me to do longer stays than I could (e.g. a week-long stay, which I wasn’t/am not able to do as I need to go into the office a few times a week). I felt a bit out of options when I sent this latest message.

I think it’s fine - it’s firm and it puts a stop to people who won’t take no for an answer or who are so caught it up in their own needs / wishes that they can’t recognise when someone else is saying they don’t want to do something. If you bump into them, say the move fell through and your circumstances are different so there’s no time to look after their pets now. Put simply, nobody can make you do this job so don’t feel bad about wording a ‘no’ in a way that you feel is final enough to suit you.

Thanks!! I think you’ve absolutely hit the nail on the head. The family are very nice, but in the kindest way, I think they are quite caught up in their own needs and wishes. While that’s understandable, it is quite a lot to ask of a pet sitter.

I do feel bad about saying I can’t look after their pets anymore, but I did think I needed to do something about it’s as it has got to the point where I dread getting a message from them about requests to look after their pets, as it means I barely get any time to myself whilst I’m looking after them. Honestly, it’s like looking after toddlers!