AIBU to ask to sit down and eat together

[EG94]

Going through more than a bad patch with my partner. Going through job change and trying to get out of debt. So much stress that the problems with him is just one I can’t deal with on top of the rest.

we have had a bad weekend which entailed break up talks. We agreed to try but think I’ve realised this means, me try him do nothing.

i asked on Friday if we could pick the kids up at lunch time instead of after work. I’m doing an evening shift starting at 6. I asked to get them at lunch so we could all sit and eat together at 5 before I go to work.

he refused as he would be rushing on his lunch. Basically wants to sit about for an hour doing fuck all.

I calmly explained I thought this was selfish of him. It’s now been turned onto me that I’m controlling and I don’t see how at all?! He once again ended it because he cannot take it when I say I don’t like his behaviour.

YABU - why should we sit down and eat together I am controlling

YANBU - perfectly reasonable request

honestly so done but feel trapped with money. ☹️

Pick the kids up from where? Is he at work and you want him to finish early as you're at home (without kids) or are you going on nightshift?

their mothers it’s our weekend. Sorry this is important info I just forget it as it’s so normal to me. We WFH and mum lives close enough to get them and come back in a lunch hour probably with 15-20 mins to spare.

im going on night shift wanting to sit down for food all of us before I go as I’m sat night too but start earlier so won’t be able to all sit other then either

hope this helps 😊

Whose children are they? Are they all his and you're the "stepmum"?

If so, I'm not sure why you'd be cross about it?

How would the DC's mum feel about the sudden change of plan?

Would the kids' mum be happy if he announced a last minute change of plan?

We WFH

im going on night shift wanting to sit down for food all of us before I go

How do you do a nightshift if you work from home?

Sorry, I just realised this happened last weekend.

You keep going back and forth from past to present tense.

His children and yes stepmom however I’m cross because it’s the lack of effort to part with his lunch hour to accommodate a request from me but anything he requests from me, I’m expected to do. Also cross because he always asks me to make effort with the kids and I believe the dinner table is a great setting for catching up and chatting. For me this is a really central part of family life and I’m trying to make the effort

Fine they have a very informal relaxed kind of agreement. Happens frequently

WFH in the day, I am actually ironically covering his night shift so he can spend time with his kids. Delivery driving.