Dh slamming cupboards and doors when angry?

[hollyholiday]

Dh isn't a violent man but when he's in a bad mood everyone knows about it.
He slams around in the kitchen slamming the fridge, slamming things down on the side and generally giving off an uncomfortable vibe.

I've been married just over 10 years and we have children together.
I think I've just learned to live with it as he's not violent to anyone but his bad moods and impatience are very frequent as is his driving rage.

I have spoken to him and he apologises saying he doesn't mean to be like it but just gets so frustrated but then he doesn't change.

I love him but find I'm frequently trying to block out his pessimism and complaining, any slight outside inconvenience and he's huffing and puffing, sighing, but then he calms down and he's a nice family man again.
Is this just what men do? Or am I kidding myself that everything's okay because he's not violent?

My husband isn't like this, OP. Nor am I.

It sounds very difficult to like with. Aren't you and your children walking on eggshells?

I had an emotionally abusive in my early adult years. Once I got out of it, I swore I would never get into a relationship again where I would have to moderate my own behaviour to keep the peace with anyone else.

It’s not a “men” thing, it’s just a “some people” thing. My mum has always been a bit like this, the slightest inconvenience and she’s storming about and God forbid someone pull out on her on a roundabout or forget to indicate before they switch lanes because that then sets off a 5 minute shouty rant about how rubbish other drivers are!

If she’s in a bad mood, everyone is in a bad mood, she’s always been like that.

Only you can decide if you want to be with somebody who is that way inclined. I wouldn’t be, my husband is very chilled & relaxed, I could not be bothered with having a partner who is so reactive to such minor (in the grand scheme of things) issues.

I wouldn't tolerate this. Either he learns to deal with his big feelings properly or he goes.

What a nob/man child.

Ask him if he does it at work! The answer will be no, because it's not acceptable.

He needs to pack it in, not a good role model for your kids.

This is still abusive. Have a read of 'why does he do that' by Lundy Bancroft. Free pdf available online. It's not normal and it's not ok.

RUN

This is the prelude to him hitting someone. You.

Tell him yo get anger management therapy or leave. Explain how it's affecting you and speak to women's aid or the police. He needs to learn how to deal rith negative emotions. Preferably away from the house.