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Original poster

What age would you get your child a smart phone?

90 replies

Allofaflutter · 08/04/2024 22:28

If they don’t go anywhere by themselves? Would you wait until high school or earlier? Just wondering what people have done. My kids are adults now but I have been asked for my opinion by a friend on when they should let their child have a smart phone. It just got me wondering what people do these days. My kids had very non smart phones at high school only but that was normal then. What have you decided?

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 09/04/2024 02:03

Just getting her now. She's 10

Although that's because I let her go to the corner shop now. So it's the right time. She's starting to get more independence.

Don't know if she didn't do anything by herself

xylene · 09/04/2024 02:08

How do you block safari? On the handset itself? Could a child unblock it themselves?
Secondary school seems more reasonable but i can understand the 'walking home from school' idea e'at a younger age.

But really you have to do what you think is acceptable for your child and circumstances.

Wishing you well :)

RawBloomers · 09/04/2024 03:15

xylene · 09/04/2024 02:08

How do you block safari? On the handset itself? Could a child unblock it themselves?
Secondary school seems more reasonable but i can understand the 'walking home from school' idea e'at a younger age.

But really you have to do what you think is acceptable for your child and circumstances.

Wishing you well :)

You need to set up Apple’s parental controls which means setting up family sharing and having your DC as a child under you as their parent in that. Then you can set limits (including disallowing entirely) under Screen Time and DC can only add it back if they know your Screen Time passcode (so keep that secret).

https://support.apple.com/en-us/105121

Use parental controls on your child's iPhone and iPad - Apple Support

With Content & Privacy Restrictions in Screen Time, you can block or limit specific apps and features on your child's device. You can also restrict the settings on your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch for explicit content, purchases and downloads, and priv...

https://support.apple.com/en-us/105121

shattereddreams1 · 09/04/2024 03:36

My DD is getting one for her 16th birthday. Despite everyone telling me she’d miss out on social life that never happened. Her friends text her on her non smart mobile phone. The only issue we had was school sometimes set homework on phones but she could do most of it on a lap top. And she doesn’t get her phone out in front of friends as she’d be too embarrassed she just tells them she doesn’t bring it to school.

I got moaned at for a year or two but after seeing her friend go through hell / change of school and self harm through whassap bullying and another needed counselling after being sent some sick stuff I won’t go into here, she thanked me earlier this year for holding out.

BeCyanSloth · 09/04/2024 03:39

4 of my Dc got a phone for there 11th birthday
ds4 was 11 in December and got his dads old phone
most of the children in my sons class yr 6 have phones and the school talk to them about phone safety as well as us teaching and supervising at home
Dd is 9 and is not happy that she has to wait a lot of her friends have phones yr 4 but I don’t think she needs one so she will not get one until she is 11
it’s something we have done for all of our Dc eldest being 26

Topseyt123 · 09/04/2024 03:46

Mine got theirs at 11, just as they were about to start secondary school. No need for one any earlier.

ASimpleLampoon · 09/04/2024 07:29

My daughter had hers in year 6 when she started walking to school on her own.

She would also walk to youth club/ the local community centre for activities during the school holidays, to friends houses.

She also takes the bus by herself to her hobby.

Very glad she has it as one day there were road closures which caused the buses to not be running. She was able to find her way home walking by video calling her dad who guided her and stayed on the call with her as she walked back.

Other DC is disabled and I'm his carer so phone gives her freedom she may not have if I had to take her everywhere as with us it's not so simple to just pop out.

DeathMetalMum · 09/04/2024 07:43

We've gone with part way through year 6 for both dd's. Not all of dd's friends went to the same high school so by having the phone in year 6 allowed for them to keep in contact.

It also allowed us to smooth out any mini dramas before high school. No big issues but class WhatsApp groups etc, where there were disagreements. Just general learning how to use the phone and keep in contact with people appropriately. Year 6 was a good time to be able to do this without the added stress of year 7 and lots of new people/friends.

Dd2 was one of the last to get her phone in a class of 32.

rubyslipperss · 09/04/2024 13:32

Mine was 10 in year 5 but this was when smart phones weren't that smart - but she has since said she thought it was too young - she still had access to all the apps and she felt looking back , it was quite risky , being exposed to all there is available to see, even though we had parental controls . I didn't give one to my other DD till she was year 7 .

Original poster
Allofaflutter · 09/04/2024 15:01

I have passed on this on. Very interesting that nobody thinks unlimited smart phone at age 8 is ok.

OP posts:
Esmereldapawpatrol · 09/04/2024 15:14

11th Birthday ready for starting secondary school as DS needs to get the bus. He is summer born so meant he had it fairly late compared to the rest of his year group.
His secondary school is a phone free school which I think is brilliant, they can't be on it at all on school property.

We then limit his time on certain apps and have controls. I think the most important thing is to talk to your kids about the dangers that come with having a smartphone. Especially strangers messaging etc, I periodically check who DS messages and he has to be able to tell me who everyone is.

It's really tricky as I want him to have it for practical purposes but at his age you have to be proactive in managing their time and the content on it otherwise it becomes all consuming. Saying that if a friend comes to call he still prefers to go out and play and leave his phone behind. Long may this last!

PrincessFionaCharming · 09/04/2024 19:20

Why does one need a smart phone to take the bus these days?

also, to go to the corner shop? My nearly-10 year old has a SpaceTalk watch. That’s all they need at this age. The rest is nonsense (and if schools are setting homework via app and it genuinely cannot be accessed without a smart phone - which I doubt - then they are part of the problem and that is something else that needs to change).

purpleme12 · 09/04/2024 19:24

I suspect that many people don't have a spacetalk watch and don't know what it is (I hadn't heard of it before this post) and just simply feel more comfortable with their child having a phone when they're out by themselves

Paintmybathroom · 09/04/2024 19:54

But surely everyone who's over about 20 has managed to catch a bus/go into a shop without the benefit of a phone and their parents being in constant contact?

Why do we think our children aren't capable of this? It's a bit worrying.

Universalsnail · 09/04/2024 19:56

My son has a phone. He is 10. It's called the family phone and I made it sound like it's everyone's but really it's his. He uses it to text friends and to take out to play. That's it. He's not allowed to sit and scroll on it. He's not allowed social media. It has to sit on the side in the house and I check it.

Universalsnail · 09/04/2024 19:58

Paintmybathroom · 09/04/2024 19:54

But surely everyone who's over about 20 has managed to catch a bus/go into a shop without the benefit of a phone and their parents being in constant contact?

Why do we think our children aren't capable of this? It's a bit worrying.

I do think things are different now. When I was a kid we went out to play and there were phone boxes everywhere and if there was a problem we would reverse dial mum. I can't remember the last time I saw a phone box.

purpleme12 · 09/04/2024 19:59

Paintmybathroom · 09/04/2024 19:54

But surely everyone who's over about 20 has managed to catch a bus/go into a shop without the benefit of a phone and their parents being in constant contact?

Why do we think our children aren't capable of this? It's a bit worrying.

Do we think our children are incapable?

I'm pretty sure that having a phone each when they're out makes both feel more reassured that they can easily be in contact if needed.

I don't think this is too hard to understand

RawBloomers · 09/04/2024 22:28

Paintmybathroom · 09/04/2024 19:54

But surely everyone who's over about 20 has managed to catch a bus/go into a shop without the benefit of a phone and their parents being in constant contact?

Why do we think our children aren't capable of this? It's a bit worrying.

Why do you think parents are in constant contact just because a child has a phone?

I don't see how it's any different for a child than for an adult. Of course people, children and adults, can get by without a smart phone. But that doesn't mean it won't be more awkward, annoying or time consuming without one. And sometimes that difference will make a material difference to the quality of life families can lead and opportunities children can access. Especially now there are no longer public phone boxes scattered around the place.

YouHaveToGetMeOutOfThis · 09/04/2024 22:37

Year 6 because they will almost certainly be left out as the vast majority of children will have them by then.

It's not ideal but you can be sure to a greater extent who they are messaging and they will have known these children in some cases since they were little and you will know the parents.

WhatsApp is a pain in the beginning as they create huge group chats and constantly add and throw out each other. But it gets the silliness out of the way in time for secondary.

8 is too young IMO.

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 09/04/2024 22:40

I don't know. I'd rather not until 13-14 but equally wouldn't want them to be the only kid in the school without one. I think realistically I'll give in the summer before secondary school with strict rules and careful monitoring.

HappyMuma · 09/04/2024 22:40

End of year 6, we wanted the novelty to wear off over the summer before starting upper school. We have parental controls and an agreement that I can check it any time I like (which I do now and then), but he mainly has it on DND because he doesn’t like notifications

Topseyt123 · 09/04/2024 22:41

Paintmybathroom · 09/04/2024 19:54

But surely everyone who's over about 20 has managed to catch a bus/go into a shop without the benefit of a phone and their parents being in constant contact?

Why do we think our children aren't capable of this? It's a bit worrying.

Nobody has said they are/were in constant contact at all. It is about the possibility to make contact if needed in an emergency. There's a difference.

YouHaveToGetMeOutOfThis · 09/04/2024 22:42

Also with our iPhones we have a family plan where we have to approve their requests for various apps and limit time on certain apps. Not sure if android do similar, probably they do.

Letsgetouttahere2023 · 09/04/2024 22:48

As late as possible.

Teenagers earliest.

Smartphone, = end of innocence, end of childhood

YouHaveToGetMeOutOfThis · 09/04/2024 22:51

@Letsgetouttahere2023 why do you believe that?

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