To feel like my daughter's threats are a call to action?

[Mastmw7g]

My 20 year old daughter finally started earning in January after I got her a job. She threatens to quit regularly. Sometimes it's more subtle, like she messaged me that she wanted a different job and then messaged "NO, I need a new job now" when I responded that I was sorry, it sounded like a tough situation. I feel like she's calling me to action and like she wants me to get her another job. Is that what you think, too, or is this all in my head?

Tell her she has a job and she can’t quit until she finds another job, tell her this is what adults do, and she is an adult even if mummy got her the job!

Why are you getting her any jobs?

20 years old? How about replying 'Well stop whining and get one then'?

Come on mummy, get her another job now!

Why is it your responsibility to find her a job?

Honestly. Either that or completely ignore. How immature of her.

It's not. I got her a job because she'd had six months to get a job and didn't. Now I think she expects me to do the same again. But maybe she's just complaining and the expectation is in my head.

Tell her to get her shit together, or she can look for somewhere to live instead. Sounds like it's time to stand on her own two feet.
She can look for a job, it doesn't need mummy. As long as she is paying her way properly.

I think you need to explain to her that most prospective employers won’t take kindly to finding out the candidate couldn’t even be bothered to apply themselves.

She’s 20. She needs to make her own mistakes and decisions.

But what if it's not in your head? Will you then get her another one? Is there something preventing you from telling her to grow up and be an adult?

Ignore her. At 20 she is an adult and living her own life.

I don't quite understand your question. Surely just tell her if she wants a new job she has to look for one. Why are you analysing this?

I assume there is some back story we are missing here. As I would expect a 20 year old to get her own job and I think her employer would to.

OP, she's 20!!!!!!!!! Why are you doing any of this?

She would probably love it if you found her the perfect job.
Ideal role, perfect location, wonderful colleagues, perks and benefits to die for, 6 figure salary ... however this is the real world and she's an adult. She wants a new job? She's capable of looking for one!
Help if you want to, it sounds lovely of you. But it seems more like an expectation than something she'd be truly thankful for.

Because she may just be complaining to me, which she's welcome to do. She hasn't asked anything of me.

How did u 'get' her a job? Surely she had to do a cv and attend interview etc

Just tell her if she wants a new job she should find it herself

She just sounds fed up with her current job TBH. Is probably a rant out of frustration rather than you expecting to find her a new job (which you absolutely should not do!).

I helped my 20 year old DS to apply for jobs as he is ND and he needed support with this. He does have a job now, but it's had a few iffy moments and I have ended up speaking to his boss and reminding boss that DS is autistic and needs a bit more explanation sometimes.

So it would be normal for me for DS to talk to me if he was struggling in a job.

But I wouldn't expect him to tell me to get him another job NOW. That is odd.

@Mastmw7g do you have quite an enmeshed relationship with her?

wether she’s just letting off steam or wants a new job the responses is - if you can’t find a way to make this work you need to start job hunting to find a job to move to.

certainly wouldn’t be enabling her financially or otherwise if she walks from this one.

diws she struggle emotionally and socially? Maybe help teach her how to balance her emotions and reactions etc.

Surely the answers the same? Sign yourself up with an agency sweetheart good luck

But whether she’s just venting to you or demanding you get her a new job shouldn’t be changing what you do? Ok you helped her get one job, now she needs to take control.

I thought that.

I think what the OP means is they put in a good word for her daughter and their word resutled in the daughter getting a job and the form filling was just a process that needed to be completed

I'd tell her to get her own place and stand on her own two feet - looks hars but beneficial to daughter longer term

She may well be unhappy in her job, let's face it most entry level jobs are a bit crap.

However you seem to be interpreting her sounding off as a call for you to fix it.

She's an adult and needs to solve her own problems. But this may not even be something that needs fixing, she's more than likely just having a whinge.