Ignored and uninvited

[Mum2bambinos]

I don't know if I am feeling particularly sensitive - so here goes.
5 years ago we moved to a village and when DD (now 10) started the village school we discovered that one of her former nursery friends was also at the same school. We started going to the village pub together on sundays; kids would play etc and we would often go to one or the others house to have a few drinks and let the kids play. We shall call them Couple 1.
Both of my children (DD10 & DS12) have ASD. They can display quirky behaviours and struggle socially - making and maintaining friendships. My DD has an amazing friendship with another child in the same class. We shall call her parents Couple 2.
We introduced both couple 1 & 2 to each other and would regularly spend afternoons in the pub or Saturday nights at each others houses whilst the kids played.
Recently we have not been invited to the pub with the others; on occasion we have arrived at the pub to find the others already there and it has felt awkward. Saturday night there was live music on and we walked down with our DD; when we got there both couples and their children were there. Couple 1 mum blanked me altogether. DD of Couple 2 rushed to our DD and off they went to play. We sat outside away from the others watching the kids play. Both couples came out Couple 1 didn't even speak to us and made a real effort to say goodbye to Couple 2 without acknowledging us. We offered to keep Couple 2 DD with us for an hour or two so the girls could play.
Couple 2 are always super friendly and no issues.
This morning I dropped DD at school and Couple 1 DS walked passed me - I cheerily said "Good Morning xxxxx" He looked at me like dirt and didn't even speak.
I now feel we have done something wrong to be excluded and ignored by both mum and son.
I hate confrontation so don't want to ask... but equally I feel like my DD is missing out on spending time with her bestie because of this...

I am dreading pick up this afternoon because the school is small and clicky I just feel it is going to be horrendous.

Question AIBU to feel hurt and excluded... or am I overthinking this?

Texting is a terrible idea. If you're going to have a difficult conversation with someone, you need tone of voice, facial expression and body language on your side. The tone behind a text message can (and almost certainly will) be misinterpreted.

You’ve got to ask. It’s affecting your kids, not being into confrontation isn’t a get out of jail card.

Sounds like there's something you're not telling us. Are your kids badly behaved?

I have had some difficult experiences in a village with 2 established mums. My son is Autistic/ Adhd and it's just a fact that for many mum's they just don't want these kids interacting with theirs. OPs kids are autistic.

Sweeping generalisation but our kids can be seen as a bit too much, annoying and can struggle with some social issues. This weird treatment from other mums, one blanking me continually and another giving me daggers was what actually contributed to me realising my child was Autistic! Their kids will go home saying xyz did this mum. Even my good friends moan about ' that autistic kid' in their little ones class.

Is it possible that couple 1’s kid prefers just to play with couple 2’s kid? Have there been any incidents between them?

If couple 2 are still friendly with you, just concentrate on that and let couple 1 stew on whatever is bothering them.

No. Well no more than anyone else’s. One is quite shy. Doesn’t socialise well. The other is very sensitive and hates loud noises.
both have been to Couple 1 house. Stayed for BBQ and new year celebration.

There’s nothing else to tell. It’s been going on for a few weeks now.

Appreciate you may not want to ask couple 1 so how about speaking to teachers at the school to find out if anything has happened between the children?
In the mantime make plans with couple 2.

It is strange if nothing has happened. I think on the brightside your dd has not noticed. I hope get better

Regarding their DS ignoring you, I think you should probably let that part go. He is still pretty young and might have been wrapped up in his own world, daydreaming or even just not recognised you without your DD being there!

With regards to the rest of it, perhaps just ask Couple 1 female if everything is ok?

Do you think you could 'use' the fact your child is autistic, as a way into asking about if something has happened to upset the couple or their child?

Sort of "I've been meaning to ask you something, because I've always appreciated your friendship, and been grateful how you understand autism, so thank you. Just recently, though, I have wondered if there is a distance, and I was afraid maybe my child has upset you, or your child?"