How do you cope when badly unwell as a single mum? with

[TotoroElla]

Just looking for any tips and advice.

I currently have Whooping cough. Just for context my GP sent me to hospital when I was diagnosed and they wanted to admit me but I had to get home to my DC. So I have it pretty bad. Awful coughing keeps me awake at night. Every time I go to get up the coughing starts and I am on the verge of fainting (have fainted a couple of times). Then I feel so wobbly walking. I'm so tired and weak and have an awful headache. So I'm really struggling. My DC are 16 and 12.

Complicating factor is 12yo probably caught whooping cough first but just had cold symptoms for a couple of weeks, pretty much ok now but not quite 100%. 16yo I think has it now, hoping he will not develop the cough but he has cold symptoms and very tired/headachy.

I feel so unwell I can't think straight. The house is going to shit. I've only managed to put a load of washing on everyday and hung it to dry a bit at a time. Nothing has been put away. Sink full of dishes. We haven't had dinner quite a bit. Just eating whatever is easy. Although I don't really have an appetite and DS has a reduced appetite. I've done a bit of tidying up but it's so hard when coughing and needing to lie down.

DS would usually do a lot more, but is sleeping lots which I want to encourage to help him recover and hopefully not get the cough. He's done a bit of washing up, wiped kitchen sides and has made food. Put bins out. I don't really want to ask too much of him as he's feeling so unwell. I'm scared of how long this illness is going to go on as it can last for many weeks. I have ordered some takeaways but can't afford too many.

Sorry, this is just a ramble. I don't know if it makes much sense. But any tips would be good.

Book a one off clean for yourself next week if you can afford it.

a local laundrette will do a wash + dry service which I do when we’re out of energy.

Then any energy you have can go on tidying up.

Choose easy healthy meals, tins of soup etc.

It's rotten..

Lower your standards - toast /ready meals etc for food. Leave the washing, if you are ill just wear the same clothes more? You aren't leaving the house anyway. Housework can wait.

Or ask around for a one off clean if it is really distressing you.

I've been there, it's brutal, but part of surviving is just to do the least you can so that you can rest.

Oh gosh, I know! It was even more of a nightmare when they were tiny! Luckily I was never this ill then. Every time I cough I go all funny and my limbs are jerking - the worst illness I've ever had - worse than COVID (which I was hospitalised for).

Thanks for the tips.

Thank you ☺️

As I said the eldest has SEN too. Also he is ill as well.

In fairness, it's not like a broken leg or something. When you are heaving with unpleasant infectious germs you probably prefer to pull up the drawbridge for a week.

I do have a friend but she is away for the Easter holidays. I have a brother but they do not live close. They would have the DC to stay but as Whooping cough is so contagious we can't risk it at the moment.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Bless you for being so unwell OP but I was expecting you to say your kids were tiny! I'm off work with flu and am a single mum to a 13 year old; she's happy just chilling with iPad, she's walked the dog for me and been into town on her own and used her pocket money to buy herself some Lego flowers to make (and me some real flowers), she's kept me supplied with water and made herself basic food (soup, sandwiches, scrambled eggs etc). It sucks i can barely move off sofa to do anything with her but wow it's so much easier than when she was younger! My laundry and washing up pile is growing and the house is a state but I know soon as I'm well in few days ill be able to crack on and sort it.Hope you get well soon xx

Good ideas, thank you.

Mine would happily live off sandwiches, soup, toast, boiled eggs for a while.

Are you in the uk?

I keep wetting myself so frequently changing pyjamas 😳

I don't think I can have any one in atm as we could be contagious but could be an option beyond that.

When I had really bad Covid I honestly don't know what my children ate. I'm assuming crisps/ fruit/ snack bars and cereals for a week 😂

I remember 'coming round' after a week and being bewildered that we had all survived.

They found me on the floor struggling with breathing and between the 3 carried me to bed and called my sister to drive over to our town to help.

It's shit being solely responsible for them sometimes. But they will live off junk food for as long as needed. Order the ready meals and crisps and then rest.

It depends on how much money you have to throw at the problem. You can order meals from Cook which just need to be bunged in the oven, or supermarket ready meals. See if you can book a one off cleaner if needed.

If you can do a big online food shop based on ease of cooking (microwave rice instead of normal rice). Order some fresh soups, which will hopefully supply you with some vitamins and minerals.

Its also ok to ask for help. If my friend messaged to say they were feeling this rough I'd offer to do a supermarket shop or drop round a homemade lasagna one evening.

I wish it was just a week...I've been ill for over 2 weeks, this bad for over a week now and it potentially lasts 8 weeks!

Yes I think I should have clarified to plan to have a cleaner in once you aren't contagious but are recuperating

No need to be embarrassed - that happened to me recently with a horrible cough too. Could you use sanitary towels or similar to reduce that happening? (Sorry if that's an intrusive question!) .

Mainly, just been kind to yourself, the children will survive. It's rotten though, I remember crawling round the house weak with hyperemesis trying to care for my toddler. It's impossible to explain what it's like when you don't have family near.

Sorry you're unwell too! I agree so much easier than when tiny. But with their SEN they are younger than their actual ages and with DS being unwell too, he's not able to do as much as he would. He said he will tackle the washing up today which will be great!

Yes, in the UK.

I'm going to do an online shop for easy things. Honestly, my brain isn't working properly (maybe exhaustion from the coughing) and I couldn't think what to get. The lists of easy things have really helped.

It's hard OP. Sending

Just rest and hope for the best. They'll survive on crap food for a bit. There are taxi firms who are dbs checked and do school runs.

Get some tena pads, put towels down where you're sitting or laid, and forego PJ bottoms, just wear longer tshirts or whatever.

Anything you can do to minimise washing, and effort on your part.

You WILL get through this op, it's just shitty while it's happening.

If you can do 10 mins of a cleaning task per day, and your dc can do 10 mins each as well that should be enough to keep on top of the bulk of it.

Really hope you are feeling better asap OP. single mum here- when I caught covid and was feeling pretty horrendous I just spent all day on the sofa, sleeping a lot and left my children to game (in the same room as me) and we lived off takeaways as I was too unwell to cook and my children were only 5&6.
like others have said, just try and rest and get your kids to help out if they can. Sometimes we need to be looked after too.

Sorry to hear you had Covid bad too. I was lucky in that I'd been reading the threads on here since Jan about Covid and by the time I caught it in April 20 I had built up a box full of noodles and baked beans etc.

Order basic fruit too, such as apples and bananas, with your ready meals and cereals, it's easy to eat and will boost your immune system. I'd also order multivitamins or a tonic to boost your recovery too. Don't forget to drink plenty of water.

Around here Ocado, Iceland and Morrisons deliver groceries in bags and will leave them outside your front door if you open the door a bit and ask them to. So much easier than unloading from crates when you are ill and reduces the chance of passing the illness on.

I wouldn't bother with a shower unless you have a shower chair/stool. Just have a thorough strip wash at the sink (sit down as much as possible) and use dry shampoo on your hair (or wash your hair in the sink/over the bath whilst sitting). You'll feel cleaner without the risk of falling and injuring yourself in the shower--an injury is the last thing you need right now.

I hope you feel better soon.

Oh, yes, I forgot about Cook, good idea. And soup would be really good right now, I think I'd be able to eat that.