Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Im standing up to my OCD

16 replies

tulipsanddaffodils1 · 08/04/2024 09:34

Hi,

I’ve had awful OCD for several years and have had to learn to adjust my life around it. I’ve got so used to it that it seems normal but I know it’s not. My skin is completely red raw because i was scrubbing it 5 times 5 times a day for 50 seconds with soap. I can only chew food in numbers divisible by 5. I was leaving early for work so I could circle the block 5 times. Those are just small examples but there’s hundreds more. I don’t know why it became a compulsion but it did and it took over my life. I know realistically nothing bad will happen if I don’t but it feels like it will. Something changed in my brain last night and I decided no more. So this is the start of my new life now. I woke up and washed my face ONCE with face wash. I didn’t count my chews on my food. And I’m not going to circle to work 5 times. Or do all my other habits and compulsions. Everything inside me is screaming to keep doing my compulsions and it’s utterly horrific but I know it will be worth it

sorry, not sure why I’m posting this, just felt like I needed to let someone know.

if anyone else has beaten OCD I’d love if you have any advice about things that helped get you through it x

OP posts:
justsayso · 08/04/2024 09:36

No advice as I am lucky not to have OCD however I wanted to say well done OP and this is the start of your new life.

Original poster
tulipsanddaffodils1 · 08/04/2024 22:13

justsayso · 08/04/2024 09:36

No advice as I am lucky not to have OCD however I wanted to say well done OP and this is the start of your new life.

Thanks!

been so difficult so far, probably the worst day I’ve had in a long time as EVERYTHING inside me is screaming about all my compulsions I didn’t do today. Hoping it gets easier the more I force myself out of it 🤞🏽

OP posts:
Neolara · 08/04/2024 22:15

That's absolutely fantastic. Well done! Keep strong.

Hedjwitch · 08/04/2024 22:17

My daughter has OCD. Best of luck OP.

justsayso · 08/04/2024 22:19

You made it through the day! That's so amazing. Hope you're rewarding yourself with a nice treat. Have you planned in anything nice or kind to do for yourself?
I bet it was hard, I can't imagine. Hope you've got someone IRL to share your achievement with.

MrWarmth · 08/04/2024 22:20

Hi, thank you for sharing. I love that you are making some progress, I have had OCD my entire adult life. I don't know how it started or what trauma I have buried within me, but I can totally relate to your post. My OCD is not as extreme as yours but I have extremely dry hands, which sometimes get blisters and cuts from all the washing. I cannot rest until every room in the house is neat and tidy, I have a default position of where everything should be and if it moves from there I get anxious and feel like something's missing from life. I can't relax. I hate change

I have cut back on the counting when doing certain activities but it's still there. I've commented here to follow the thread and also provide updates if things do ever improve.

Purplevioletsherbert · 08/04/2024 22:21

Congratulations! Would it help to write out things that went well today? So you have written evidence that not obeying your compulsions is not going to be disastrous to the actual world (appreciate it is hard for you mentally, but if there are things that went well too they should be acknowledged!). Like “I didn’t circle the block five times and I made it to work safely. I didn’t count my chewing and I didn’t choke” etc xx

chubloops19 · 08/04/2024 22:22

If you can sit with the feelings of anxiety and avoid the compulsions it will get better.

Take a look at the www.dynamicyou.org/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd-cycle-despair/

You have to break the cycle and it gets better.

Are you on any medication?

Wynston · 08/04/2024 22:24

I think you are amazing.
The only way to cure ocd is to not carry out the compulsion......each time we do it we feed the ocd.......we dont like to feel uncomfortable thats why we keep on.
Ocd nearly broke me but I have been managing well for a few years now......one hour at a time and feel free to reach out x

givebeesachance · 08/04/2024 22:24

You’re doing so well! I like the concept of standing up to your OCD like it’s separate to you. I think of mine as a bully. The author Bryony Gordon has a name for hers I believe.

One thing that really helped me was understanding that it would never feel enough, done or right. When I did things one more time I was restarting a process, almost like how smoking a cigarette restarts the cravings. And also understanding that my brain cannot close that loop - I just have to go around with it open.

Hang in there you’ve got this

SkaneTos · 08/04/2024 22:27

I have OCD. It's terrible. I'm working on getting better. It's very difficult.

What is working for me now is that when I get a compulsion, and a tiny voice within me might say that I do not have to follow that compulsion, then I tell myself it's OK for me to listen to that voice instead. And not follow the compulsion. I works fairly often.

I have also found that my OCD is worse when I have not eaten properly, so I try to eat well, and also sleep well.

I'm rooting for you, OP!

BeretRaspberry · 08/04/2024 22:28

This is amazing OP. Well done! They do say that the more you ‘give in’ to your compulsions, the stronger the OCD becomes.

Both my daughter and I have OCD..I don’t have outward compulsions like you as mine manifest more in rumination and mental compulsions, but I do know how horrific it can feel. I’ve had it for about 27 years now and in the last 8 or so, it seems to have eased. I still have the odd spike but they’re infrequent. My daughter has compulsions but more needing symmetry and order. Again, it’s been awful watching her but she’s doing really, really well at the moment too and it does seem to have settled <touching ALL the wood there>.

I wouldn’t wish OCD on my worst enemy so I am so pleased you’re taking a stand OP! Good luck and long may it continue!🩷

thebear1 · 08/04/2024 22:31

Amazing. I hope one day to do the same, I'm so fed up with the limitations living with ocd has on me. I've managed to reduce some of my routines but hope to go further and stop.

DoYouWantMeToBeTheCat · 08/04/2024 22:43

The first day is the hardest!! But it’s the first day of the rest of your life. Imagine how easy every thing will feel in 100 days time! Flowers

OneFrenchEgg · 09/04/2024 07:04

Purplevioletsherbert · 08/04/2024 22:21

Congratulations! Would it help to write out things that went well today? So you have written evidence that not obeying your compulsions is not going to be disastrous to the actual world (appreciate it is hard for you mentally, but if there are things that went well too they should be acknowledged!). Like “I didn’t circle the block five times and I made it to work safely. I didn’t count my chewing and I didn’t choke” etc xx

Edited

No, that would be feeding the OCD and probably turn into a compulsion. Best thing is what op is doing which is to resist the urge to perform any kind of compulsion.
Best of luck, op. OCD is horrific at its worst but you are reclaiming your life. If you keep going the anxiety will eventually reduce and you'll see the benefit.
I had debilitating OCD and recovered with psychiatric input.

Bestyearever2024 · 09/04/2024 07:06

Huge congratulations

And don't beat yourself up if you slip....just keep going

You're a superstar!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page