Without outing I'll try to be as clear as possible.
I was married for 12 years and separated for 7. 3 dcs in the marriage. It took 3 years to separate due to complicated issues with our him (a family member of mine owned it and I asked him to leave but he never did) until he was forced to leave by police. A lot of emotional abuse throughout the years and some physical but mainly emotional.
He ended up with a criminal conviction for his behaviour against 3 random people who he believe were involved in an affair I had (which I had to try to make him leave as he wouldn't go).
For 4 years post separation he was allowed to see the children supervised then gradually towards the end 5 out of 14 nights and due to their age my son wasn't included. This was because when he was ever with our children he would tell them I was a terrible mother and I was abusing them.
My ds never wanted to see his dad, wanted to change his name to never be associated with him. My girls went but were always upset on their return. I always felt that they would leave on a Friday and would need re-integrating on a Tuesday when they returned and it would take days then they would be back with him again.
Because of the stress of court cases and dealing with him I have been struggling a lot and not the best example of an amazing parent ie drinking at weekends and crying and sad alot.
My son went on a school trip last year and his dad picked him up and he's never returned. He now messages me saying because I've been asking him to come home I'm putting too much pressure on him.
My girl is autistic and asks weird questions like have I ever made her call my partner dad which I haven't ever!
My other girl doesn't go to her dad's to sleep over but comes back with tales and stories all the time I just cannot cope with it as I feel like I'm always fighting a battle.
He doesn't work, gave it up when he was chased from CMS but although I have one of our kids full time he wants me to pay for my son who I don't even think should be there. I do believe he works cash in hand as he's never short and we have 2 good salaries and 4 kids and never have spare income.
I'm at moment in my life he controls everything even though I've not been with him for 7 years. I constantly receive letters and abuse and always told it's a civil matter ðŸ˜
Im about to quit my job and I have already lost one child and fell like I might lost more. Please help