Priest is taking a very long time

[Whatinthedoopla]

I moved recently, and started going to a local catholic church. On the first day we attended, I mentioned my child needed baptism, and he was optimistic about it, saying that he will get us a form, etc etc. It has now been 3 months, every time we go we mention it, but he keeps giving an excuse, for example saying that it is the form he needs to print out, he has lost the dates we gave him, we will hear from the secretary.

I really don't understand if this is normal.

Google it. Many churches have baptism application forms online.

He doesn't want to baptise your child.

Not unusual in my experience. Is there a parish admin person that you can go through? We found them much more responsive than the priest.

Is this a school thing? If not then just wait and prove yourself a devoted member of the church

How old is your child? Is the church affiliated to a local good school/baptism would be helpful for a school application?

He may have been burned before and testing exactly how committed you are. Unlike the church of England who have legal obligations to those living in their parish boundaries, other denominations don't have to perform the three biggies (baptism, wedding and funeral).

You've only been going to the church for 3 months, and you don't say how often. If one of the first things that you said was about getting the child baptised then the priest is maybe waiting to see if you're committed Catholics before booking you in. Maybe give it a bit longer and don't mention it for a while?

I wonder if they bide their time to make sure you're committed. Is your child approaching school age? I imagine churches get a lot of chancers turning up expecting to get their children signed up ready for a place at a good school in September. They're probably saving themselves unnecessary admin by weeding out those whose hearts aren't in it. All you can do is keep mentioning it, they'll get it arranged when they're happy to.

Yes. More information needed. Are you a Catholic, OP? Is the child's father a Catholic? How old is the child, as I notice you don't say 'baby' -- if not a baby, why wasn't he or she baptised as a baby, at the usual time?

It doesn't sound to me as if you are a Catholic, or have any grasp of what baptism actually means. And yes, it sounds as if the priest is hanging fire to see if you are actually committed to Catholicism, or whether it's some school issue. I imagine they spot that easily.

How old is the child?
are you both baptised?
are you all going to mass weekly? And ensuring you are ‚seen‘?
has the child got a saints name?

They have to attend preparation sessions with the godparents anyway so he will be able to assess them there.

my thought would be is the child is of walking age, and is the best school in the area is attached to the parish?

I'd say immediately requesting baptism of a child approaching school age, coupled with the fact youre very new...he needs to make sure you are actually catholic. Are you?

Give him £50, worked for my brother.

Not in my church .. you wait behind on a Sunday, priest comes out to see you with forms, you fill them in, and book your meeting in with him to go through the details

How often are you going? I think it’s a long shot that the secretary would get in touch with you about your child’s baptism. I remember having to make sure I phoned at all the right times, persisted in calling back etc in the two different churches we had our children baptised in. That was in addition to going regularly whenever it wasn’t illegal to leave your house.

How old’s the child?

Our priest made us go for nearly 9 months before he would agree to a baptism. His view was our DS needed to not be afraid of church and its surroundings and he wanted to know we were committed to the church not just going to get him baptised so he could get into the school 😬.

As others have said, need more info.
How old is your child- the Catholic Church seems very keen on babies being baptised as soon as possible, so if your child is older, they may be wondering why they were not baptised earlier.
Also, asking on your first visit may have been seen as slightly rude, depending on the circumstances, child's age, school factors etc.
Or they could just be forgetful. Have you tried looking at the church's website, usually their processes are on there.

I think asking on day 1 indicates you're trying to get into a particular school.

You'll just have to wait til he accepts you're serious.

No, it isn't for school. I just want to get my baby baptism.

I just feel like changing churches by this point

My baby is 5 months old, and I might be coming off a bit in a hurry to have him baptised, but it's because we are renting, and can't attend one church for a long time at a time. We were going to a different church before he was born, but obviously the priest doesn't know that.

I guess I will just have to continue going to church until he feels satisfied and convinced I am actually catholic?

Also, what is the normal donation for a baptism?

I just feel like changing churches by this point

I'm not a churchgoer, but I'm pretty sure being patient is part of demonstrating your dedication to the cause. Three months is nothing. How long has it taken you to find a church you wanted to take your baby to?

3 months is hardly any time in the Catholic Church op.

I think it is much more likely that your priest is overworked and/or disorganised rather than testing your vocation by pretending to be! If he doesn’t want to do it he would say so, if he has concerns about your faith, he would say so (although ime with baptism he would be unlikely to say no on that basis - it’s a sacrament for the child not the parent).

Chase the parish secretary/relevant catechist/office until you get somewhere.

I'd also chase the administrator who presumably is the one actually running the parish, especially if the priest is stretched across three or more parishes.

Alternatively, any chance you could get DC baptized in your home town seeing it's a whole family occasion?

My priest was asking me when I’d like the baby baptised almost as soon as they were born! The Catholic Church is usually quite keen on quick baptisms. BUT our priest knew us well. We’d been attending that church since before he became priest there! We didn’t have any “preparation” classes either.

OP asked about donations - my first child was baptised on a Saturday afternoon, not during mass (I can’t remember why) so we made a larger donation of £50. Second child was baptised during Mass and as I had been a SAHM for several years we had less disposable cash so the donation was smaller. We were never actually asked for a donation and we simply put the extra money in our gift aid envelope with our standard weekly donation.