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AIBU?

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Volatile 5yo

2 replies

Maverick99 · 07/04/2024 17:20

My 5yo is good as gold at school. Can have tantrums when with other family members, but only has mega melt downs with me. Example, I've given him a 15, 10, and 5 minute warning for bed time. He's wanting to carry on what he's doing (reading, playing with cuddly toys etc) so when I say it's bedtime now he kicks, spits, goes completely nuts at me. This is between 1 and 3 times a day. If he sleeps at my mums house or my sisters house they have no problem at all. I'm a very calm and composed person, I'm kind to him but firm when I need to be. I've read every adhd book under the sun and followed the common advice (he's suspected to have it). But, it's like he hates me, for absolutely no reason. He wouldn't dare do this with his dad (who he sees every other weekend for a day). I'm lost. I actually dislike him sometimes which is horrible. He was good as gold until 3. Have I any hope of this getting easier or do volatile 5yos tend to continue on that path for a while? I need a light at the end of the tunnel.

OP posts:
cakecoffeecakecoffee · 07/04/2024 17:26

Sympathy OP.

Unfortunately our children lash out and don’t filter themselves, with the person they’re closest to.

He feels safe enough to just act naturally with you knowing you love him unconditionally.

my DS 5 is the same, can be challenging with others but truly horrible to me.

Haveyouanyjam · 07/04/2024 17:52

I’m sorry, it’s so so tough. However, pretty normal, even more so with suspected ADHD. They let it out where they feel safest. Just do whatever you need to do to get through it and then reconnect when he has calmed down. If you manage to stay calm most of the time it will pay dividends as he gets older. My 9 yo DSS can behave absolutely horribly at times and only to me and it can make me feel like I don’t like him, so I get it, but he is where we are because he didn’t have a stable parent to let it out on when he was younger who could stay calm and reconnect.

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