Visiting family not staying at ours

[Heartflutterbuttercup]

When you visit your family in your home town where do you stay? Parents? Siblings? Hotel??!

When we visit family (myself and husband have 2 sets of siblings each who all have children) we (Me, DH and our 3 children) will stay at their homes as per their requests.

Personally, I actually don't like staying at other people's houses, especially with my trio of children....BUT.... because family want us to stay with them and I don't want to snub them, then that is what we do and it's always very nice.

Now, when family (various sets of siblings and their children), come to visit they stay at either our parents or a hotel (usually a couple days at parents followed by a couple days at a hotel).

I can slightly understand staying at the parents, but now they have started to stay in a hotel when they visit I am feeling quite upset.

AIBU to expect them to stay with us when we are expected to do the same?

You don’t have to stay with them either, why not go to a hotel too and visit as they do. Seems like a solution to suit you all.

I would love to. They would be extremely pissed off though.

Maybe, while they love to see you and all that, deep down they might actually prefer for you to stay in a hotel nearby. They are probably far too polite to say it, so maybe by staying in a hotel when visiting you, they are saying it's ok for you to do the same when you go to theirs!

Having visitors for one night is ok, but any more than that and I'd crack up!

And forgive me if I have misunderstood what you were trying to say in your post.

god why on earth would you mind this. we go abroad to family and when we stay separately we always have a better holiday.

They might not be as pissed off as you think.

I HATE staying with my inlaws. Its awful

We stay in a hotel rather than stay with our family that have children. If they're staying in a hotel instead of with you, they probably wouldn't mind at all if you do the same when you visit them.

Personally, I actually don't like staying at other people's houses,

and they feel exactly the same as you. but rather than suck up what they don’t want to do, they stay in a hotel and enjoy it

So don’t be a martyr and do what they do. which is precisely what i would do!

Stay in a hotel when you visit them

they don’t sound very pleasant

But surely you've pointed out the double standard..? How could they be pissed off?

you don’t sound too happy about them doing it to you either!

Exactly. Ask them.

I love being away and seeing family but when it’s more than just me (so me and dh and/or the dc in tow) we always go with a hotel. Just much more comfortable.
If it’s just me there’s usually a spare room for me to sleep in but I can’t be arsed trying to shoehorn people into spaces that aren’t real spaces to sleep etc and I’m too old for sleeping on someone’s sofa like a teenager!
Just book somewhere else.

I'll bet they wouldn't.

But it's okay for them to piss you off?

Then say 'what are you waffling about Jane?! When you come to visit you stay in a hotel, but now I've decided to do the same it's suddenly a big problem?! What IS your problem exactly?!'