It has been suggested that I look into applying for DLA for DD8 who is definitely neurodivergent, awaiting an autism assessment.
Looking at the guidance I need to say what care I provide that is outside of "normal" for her age. Now she would be the first to tell me there's no such thing as normal. I'm also ND (undiagnosed but pretty sure ADHD) as is her DH (diagnosed autistic). So how do we know what 'normal' looks like?
DD is very bright, physically able and can play unsupervised in a different room from us safely for example. She can get herself dressed and ready for school using a visual checklist we created. She struggles to get ready for things out of her routine and will often cry and scream if she doesn't know what to wear. She gets overwhelmed by choices easily and needs a lot of support to calm down and decide what to wear (she won't accept us choosing for her).
That's just one example, but everything is like this. Her ability fluctuates and the things she's mastered have taken time and resources to get to this point (e.g. buying many types of pants and shoes before finding ones that work for her sensory needs).
The biggest difference I'd say is time and thought behind how we explain things. She needs each situation explicitly taught as she doesn't really generalise what she's learnt to other situations.
There are some other extra expenses like sensory "chewellery" which regulate her, nappies and bed mats as she's still wet at night, books and resources etc.
I'm probably over thinking it but don't all children need support in different areas? I'm not sure how to work out what is extra and what is just parenting.
Thanks