To send DC to a catholic primary?

[Okaaaay]

AIBU to send a non-catholic child to a high performing catholic school seperating them from their sibling?

I have a DC7 in a secular primary school. The school hasn’t been doing well (Ofsted has been RI twice, issues with leadership and performance stats are average). There have been issues with behaviour. It’s a relaxed village school which isn’t strict and does lots of fun stuff. It’s possible it will join an academy trust in next 18 months. DC has had a couple of rough spells but has done really well as they have moved through school.

DC4 is due to start school next year. We have the option to send them to DC7s school or to a local catholic primary. The catholic option is outstanding, very academic and achieves well above average and has a strict culture that is more like some of the secondary academies I have heard of. It also operates more of a private school level of extra curricular activities. The catholic school’s children are 50% catholic and 50% not. We are not religious and don’t believe in religious education as a construct. But we want the best for our child and feel that part of that is being well set up for secondary school. I think the children in DC7s school feel a step into secondary whilst children from the catholic school experience more of a glide. The behaviour policy is strict and enforced with support from parents, so there is little to no disruption in class.

DC4 is very bright but also so much fun - cheeky, witty and loves being the centre of attention. I can’t decide whether they would thrive or be squashed by a strict environment.

I’ve thought through the logistics, issues with separating siblings, the FOMO associated with wanting the best thing etc. What would you do? Does anyone have a similar experience? If it was a marginal decision we would just send them to DC7s school, but there are so many factors contributing to this being a very difficult call. We don’t plan to move DC7 as they are now settled.

If dc goes to catholic school, will you mind if they come home singing hymns and praying etc?

Given dc7 has done fine in other school and dc4 is boisterous which probably doesn't suit a strict school, I'd probably stick to other school

I would do it but please don't be that parent who sends their child to a church school who then constantly moans about have religion rammed down their throats!

You have to pick the right school for the child. You know your children best. You care more than anyone else on the planet about their wellbeing and their education. Do what you feel is the right thing for each child.

@parietal thank you. We talk about religion at home as something that some people believe in and therefore should be respected. But we’re clear that we (DH and I) don’t believe in XYZ. So I guess I’d continue with that sentiment if they came home singing hymns. I am uncomfortable with religion being taught as fact and this does concern me.

@JudgeJ very fair. We would need to make peace with it beforehand.

I’m an atheist but DD is going to a Catholic primary because it’s head and shoulders the best school in the area. She’ll get some religious education but, hey ho, I can live with that given how spectacularly good the school is generally.

My parents were atheists but they sent me to a Catholic school which was similarly 50/50 Catholic/not. It didn’t make me religious but I was very envious of my Catholic friends as they got to do their Holy Communion and I didn’t 😂Religion was absolutely taught as fact but I didn’t believe those facts so I just didn’t take it that way, if that makes sense.

Anyway, it was an amazing school and I’m so glad I went there instead of to the awful local primary where my older brother went. But it was also absolutely the right school for me (very academic, hard working, well behaved child). You have to choose the right environment for your child.

I’d pick the Catholic primary but with the understanding that your child will be exposed to, and expected to participate in, religious instruction and activities.

I went to a Catholic secondary school in the 80s and it was fine; my parents were a lapsed Catholic and a fervent atheist, whilst I just wasn’t interested and would probably be described as agnostic if I had to put a label on it. Prior to this I was at an Anglian primary school and that was all hellfire and damnation, off to chapel daily and being lectured on sin, reading the bible every day etc - I didn’t ‘catch’ religion from either school.

Will drop off and pick up be feasible. I mean if you really feel this is best for your dd then go for it. Often easier for both to be together though

Thanks all - really helpful. I thought there would be a huge sway for the same school but alas not.
@dottiedodah the logistics aren’t simple but are possible. It is a consideration though as there are also different school holidays.

So why send your child to a Catholic school then?

Another reason to stick to the same school is it is fair to both kids. They both have the same opportunities and clubs etc. otherwise one could be jealous of the other (either way around).

@ButtockUp because it will help set them up in the best way possible to cope well at secondary school and with all that education throws at them. If the other school could provide better results, behaviour and leadership then it wouldn’t be a question. But it can’t currently.

@parietal I don’t worry about fairness particularly, but I worry about the FOMO that can come with them having different opportunities (both ways - my DC7s school does some great stuff too)

I definitely would send them to the catholic school.