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Original poster

Specially for the Irish posters & all... GAA dinner dance

18 replies

gaawag · 06/04/2024 19:46

If you were newly dating and asked to one of these, how would you feel if you were left with the wags for most of the night?
Is this the done thing? Checking in every now and again while he hangs at the bar with ' the men'?
Would you walk away if you found yourself in this position when you didn't know a single soul and was left to chat to the women who are well used to this dynamic and all know each other?

OP posts:
Original poster
gaawag · 06/04/2024 19:49

Do you think it would be entirely reasonable to slip away, book a room for myself in the hotel as against stay in the shared room already booked and say nothing.
Tbh, he'd hardly notice and would you say anything g to the wags that you're slipping away?

OP posts:
Original poster
gaawag · 06/04/2024 19:53

For the non Irish .. these occasions often lend themselves to a type of 1950's situation where the women are on one side , forced together through their partners and husbands and the men generally hang by the bar and check in with a drink nowand again .
I recognise that some women are perfectly ok with this also.
This goes in for the night usually.

OP posts:
StephanieSuperpowers · 06/04/2024 19:55

Well yeah. Are you not originally from Ireland? I've never been to a gaa do that went otherwise?

Lollypop701 · 06/04/2024 19:57

I get the scenario and I might slip away but I’d go to the room… booking a separate room is Ott imo .

Theoriginalmrscillianmurphy · 06/04/2024 19:58

Wouldn't bother me.

TwilightSkies · 06/04/2024 20:00

Long-term relationship? Fine.
Newly-dating? Nope, not for me.

romdowa · 06/04/2024 20:00

From what I know off gaa dinner dances this is normal but if you're unhappy then yes I'd book the room , stay there and leave tomorrow. Chalk it up to experience and move on

ColadhSamh · 06/04/2024 20:08

If you genuinely want to get feedback why not ask on Craicnet?
Nothing 1950's about it. Fellow players usually have grown up together so they have a lot in common. Very often their partners the same. Usually how communities work. I certainly wouldn't want to spend the evening discussing tactics or which brand of sliotar is the best. Don't even get me started on hurleys. When they start talking about Friesans, Charlie's, Belted Galloway or God forbid John Deere's, I'm definitely out. 😁

CliffsofMohair · 06/04/2024 20:08

StephanieSuperpowers · 06/04/2024 19:55

Well yeah. Are you not originally from Ireland? I've never been to a gaa do that went otherwise?

I was just thinking I had been to a lot of these dinners - often bonded with the newbie girlfriend abandoned by the centre half for his pals at the bar

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 06/04/2024 20:13

I think that it's entirely stupid of a man to invite a new girlfriend to any event where she knows no one, and when he intends to spend the majority of the night with other people.

That said, I would basically chat to anyone and use the opportunity to find out more about new boyfriend. How do you know Sean? Any funny stories etc.

If it's a very small parish, chances are he dated at least one of the other girlfriends at some stage too.

A GAA dinner dance is usually great fun if you grew up in the area and know everyone there. When you don't, it can be hell on earth.

Wendysfriend · 06/04/2024 20:15

From my own experience of dinner dances and nights out in large groups it usually starts off with everyone together chatting etc and as the night goes on the men sit together as do the women. It's just everyone catching up with each other. I suppose if you're not use to that type of night out it will seem strange. The men are usually talking sport which most of us have no interest.

If someone is new to the group they're usually made to feel welcome, if you felt uncomfortable a large group setting was probably too soon for a newish date. Maybe meet smaller groups of people to start with.

We do also socialise without men and women separating during the night.

If someone went off to a hotel room I personally wouldn't think anything but maybe some would assume you were in a strop.

You're lucky he checked in with you during the night 😂

Walkingwithdinosaurs · 06/04/2024 21:17

It’s perfectly normal but I do get where you’re coming from. Why don’t you try and chat to the other girls and make friends, honest it’s not all bad. You’ll form some great friendships and it can be a fun night out.

Radyward · 06/04/2024 21:57

I despise the GAA .
Nowadays if you assault someone being part of it is a good characteristic.
Anyhow
He should nt dunp you with people you dont know for hrs on end. If he checks in with you regularly he is being caring and in a way introducing you to his circle and encouraging friendships FOR you iykwim.
If he is lovely and caring enjoy

Dinner dances are defo from a bygone ere but are still part and parcel of rural ireland

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 06/04/2024 22:03

I feel for you and maybe this is a red flag for the relationship if this is not what you want. I know some women fine with it if they all know each other but for me am with you on this as very old fashioned.
I was invited to a wedding by an ex few years ago and didn't really know anyone and was very sociable then, not so much now as peri-meno but was shocked when he went off for the whole night to the bar and I was left with a couple and stayed chatting with them for a while but did not want to be a third wheel so went over to a few girls who were really nice and had few drinks but I really wished had walked out as he did not come over once. But I did the same to him at a family member's birthday party and am not usually like this or would do this but he left and did not tell me or text me and had no way to get home. So what is good for the goose is good for the gander. In the end broke up as he turned out to be a gas lighting narcissist who only cared about him self and what others thought.
So really think hard on this as not all Irish men are like this and usually we all mix together but the gaa are a law/firm onto themselves and is this how you want your social life as your whole life will revolve around matches and the lads.
Did he come over to check on you at all and see were you ok. If not, dump his ass and get a more modern thinking man.

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 06/04/2024 22:05

Radyward I totally agree with you. A man rapes or murders someone and they will say oh he played for county or will get references to say he is a good man.. Makes me sick.

Original poster
gaawag · 07/04/2024 07:56

Thanks! So it seems like the norm but definitely not for
Me. I like to socialise as a couple and it's what I've always done so to be essentially left for the night so he can chat to his mates that he sees three or four times per week isn't ok for me. Specially when we're a new thing.

OP posts:
Helengreggregson · 07/04/2024 08:06

Also despise GAA and I don’t think I could date someone who enjoys events like this , sounds hellish

Radyward · 07/04/2024 09:19

Just as a sort of an aside
My sister was at a wedding in December. Both B and G play Gaa so basically the norm is now every single person on both teams invited plus partners. Huge wedding. Broke up before the thank yous went out. Groom a real jack the kad. Cheating !!! Some of these GAA teams full of the swagger full of themselves. Watch yourself OP.
Now in fairness maybe rugby the same

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