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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be frustrated with my daughters dad?

2 replies

PandaMamaB · 06/04/2024 19:27

In fact, I already know I'll be cited as unreasonable, but the more I think about it the more frustrated and annoyed I become.

So my daughters dad saw her a total of 13 days last year, then decided to tell me he wasn't asking my permission but was taking her on holiday for 9 days abroad. I said I'm she could go on holiday with him but it had to be the UK as they hadn't spent more than a night together. I was told I was being unreasonable and stopping him from taking her on holiday etc and he finally accepted he wasn't taking her out of the country. He is still going abroad but not taking her, instead he is having her 3 nights one weekend in summer. Fine.

He tells me I'm preventing her from having contact with him at every opportunity but then I offer more contact and he turns it down.

Fast forward to today, our daughter isn't feeling great after she was ill yesterday, when telling him she was poorly yesterday he said that they were going to see a family members new baby and if she wasn't well it wasn't fair to take her. Fair enough. But instead of having her on his day (once a month as per his choice) and maybe having a duvet day looking after her and watching a film or two, he goes to see the new baby and leaves our daughter at my mums (as he says travelling a long way for a few hours isn't worth it and my mum lives 20 mins away as opposed to our 45).

He's always banging out about their weekends need to be special and spend time together but because she's poorly and it's inconvenient to what he wants to do, he'll miss his weekend all together so he can do what he wants to do...

OP posts:
anon4net · 06/04/2024 20:46

He sounds emotionally very immature and that it's about getting what he wants in the moment, rather than a proper, stable relationship with his dd.

He was probably like this when you were together and will probably be like this for decades to come.

I'd just do an internal eye roll, know these issues will pop up each month, and just keep going about your business. Try to depersonalize it and just don't take it to heart. He won't change, however annoying it is.

WeeOrcadian · 03/07/2024 12:13

It sounds like he's all mouth and no trousers when it comes to being a parent

YANBU

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