My son is getting married next year and my father (his grandfather) won't come because 'weddings aren't important to him'. I would walk over hot coals for my Dad but he won't put himself out for things that are important to me or my children.
He is very generous financially but I think it's a way to try and control us so we can't say anything about stuff like this.
He pays for us to go on holiday sometimes and this year would be one of those times. So I suggested via a voice message he didn't pay for us to go on holiday to see him (he lives abroad) because we would prefer him to be there with us on the wedding day instead. He's ignored it and told a family member irriatedily he won't be coming.
My mum left when I was a child so he's all the parent I have and grandparent my children have on my side. But he moved abroad and we hardly see him anymore.
If I challenge it further he will do what he always does and stop talking to me. Last time it was for six years. He only spoke to me again because he had a health event.
I know we'll have a nice day regardless but I feel really resentful and let down that hes so selfish.
Do I just accept the way he is despite the way he makes me feel (please don't suggest I talk to him because I have tried countless times over the years) or walk away and have no relationship with him at all.