Hi,
Name changed for this. I don't think I'm being unreasonable but just want abit of advice.
I'm currently 23 weeks pregnant, have been permanently split from baby's dad since the very early stages of . The relationship was what you would call brief and very unhealthy. Ex is a compulsive liar, has substance and alcohol issues, misuses his own medication as what I see a manipulation tactic, is pretty narcissistic and likes to gaslight.
I've had very brief contact with him since the split generally just asking for medical information, exchanging belongings, and scan dates, for which he has only turned up to 1. His responses are usually a mixture of lovebombing, false promises or borderline abuse. I do not want him involved in my pregnancy at all but I feel terrible guilt of depriving a child from their father. I'm also being called every name under the sun.
However, I am now at a point where I have called social services to explain the issues and said that I do not want him involved unless he is assessed and undertaken tests to prove he is a safe, adequate person to parent a child, aswell as to prove he's not under the influence and still hiding the substance abuse. They've agreed to contact him and see if he will engage in any assessments/work etc.
Ex however is furious about this states I'm selfish, playing God with a child and trying to blackmail him with ultimatums to be a dad. He is adamant he will at no point engage with ss or even take their calls. He's also claiming I'm committing a crime passing his information on without consent ha. He then switches to wanting to discuss names, prams, etc which I'm resisting and stating clearly from now any involvement and updates will only go through ss until they have provided an outcome to his safety.
Am I unreasonable to want this and for my only nvolvement with him to be through professionals? I plan to block any form of personal contact with him but part of me feels that what I'm doing is wrong, maybe that's just because his poison is still in my head.