To want to spend DS birthday with him?

[Corporatemum]

Me and DH are in the process of splitting up and I’m moving out next week. DS birthday is on Monday and we plan to take him out for the day. We plan to go to the farm and then he wants to take him over to his grandparents in the afternoon and won’t be back until evening. I would normally go and we would have his birthday cake there but I won’t be doing that again.

AIBU to want to spend the day with him and do his cake at home? Or am I being petty.

I mean either you do it together or one of you will miss out. That’s just your life now. Neither you or dad are more entitled to the day.

Get used to sharing it together or do an every other year.

Whisky this may be true? You could be a little more empathetic!

The firsts are hard OP. You need to try and think of a situation/plan which is going to work every year.
You could either -

Share the day with both parents and extended family celebrate separately
Split the day in half - wake up with mum and switch over to dad in the afternoon
One year it's your day, the next it's his
If children are older let them decide
Whoever's "day" it is has the child

Sending you love. Birthdays and christmases are tough ❤️

Why not get a cake and blow the candle at the farm/in a park nearby pic nic style and then let him take him to his grandparents?

If it's a tradition to visit your in laws and you're in the middle of a divorce right now and it's all fresh, I think it's kinder to your son not to disrupt that part of his birthday, but also do the cake outside together. If your family is nearby, maybe share the afternoon with them too?

If none of that is possible, how about celebrating his birthday with a second cake on Tuesday with your side of the family?