AIBU to feel totally deflated

[Confusednoodle1]

Relationship with DP has just come to an end, it’s been dragging on a while and came to a head yesterday.

We’ve lived together coming up for 4 years and I have my DD from a previous relationship.

My relationship with DP became quite toxic so in some respects I feel a sense of relief that it’s over. We currently rent and the rental market is mental in our area at the moment so ideally I’d prefer to try and buy (appreciate this may be a tall order on my own).

In the meantime it means moving back home, sharing a room with DD for approx 12 months to carry on saving and I just feel so deflated. I feel like I’ve really worked hard over the last 4/5 years to improve life, get some stability for me and DD, a lovely home and saving to buy and now I’m right back at square one. To top it off it’s her first year at secondary and after a tumultuous time at primary I really wanted her to just have some time feeling settled.

fortunately I have a good stable job and we have a roof over our heads and I’m so so grateful for the opportunity to be able to save but I just feel so flat and like I’ve let my DD down.

No real reason for this post other than to rant and just get that off my chest.

What a mess.

It’s better that you don’t buy a place at all than buy with someone who is not good for you. It’s hard to see this now, but you will realise this over time.

And giving her a happier mum is in no way letting your daughter down.

We had the best part of a year in a refuge op, me and my dc stuck in a teeny tiny flat, curfews, checks etc, we were grateful to be there and safe, but it was hell.

Now, some years on, we are in safe, affordable housing, in a much better position, and we barely remember our time in the crappy circumstances in the refuge.

I know it's different because you're at the start of your rubbish living situation, but this time next year you'll probably be moving into your own, secure home and you'll look back and realise it was just a wee blip.

You're not letting her down, you're setting up her future.

Thank you both! I’m sure once I feel less bogged down with it all it won’t feel quite so bad.

In the grand scheme of things there are far worse situations I could be in. Seeing DD cry this morning just broke my heart and I feel responsible for her being hurt.

Aww, it's not your fault she was upset so please don't beat yourself up. She's only 11 or so and her brain won't compute the situation in the same way as an adult. Remember that it is healthy for her to let her feelings out and the fact she feels free to do so with you speaks volumes. Keep your chin up, you will get there!